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Have you ever wondered how you can let go of past trauma, so that it no longer holds you back from creating the life that you want in the future?
Living with past trauma as if it is still present, can keep you in repetitive patterns.
Your body remembers the past trauma too and it is likely the reason why you find yourself having the same emotional reactions as if the past is happening now.
The same state of paralysis, anxiety and fear.
The same chills in your body, heart racing and churning in your stomach.
By being caught in the past, you can find life a struggle in the present.
You’ve got dreams and goals that you wish to fulfil. Maybe it is to align with your highest potential, to have the best relationship with your spouse ever, to run a thriving business or to manifest the most amazing life ever. Whatever it is, holding on past trauma can limit your chances of success. As a result, you could be feeling bitter, disappointed and helpless, You have the belief that there is nothing you can do to erase the past and to change your destiny.
I’d like to qualify. The traumas you’ve encountered might not have been big major events to begin with. Note that what feels traumatic for one person may not be the same for another. It might have been an incident such as being ostracised by your friends when you were in play school or being criticised for being “not good enough”. Notwithstanding, they were certainly instances that had left an indelible imprint on your subconscious.
Well, in case you consider your future ruined due to an unhappy past, there is hope. I’d like to share how it is very possible to let go of past trauma and to rewrite the story of an unhappy childhood. When you do so, it opens up new possibilities for you in manifesting a more empowering set of outcomes.
When I first heard the suggestion that it is possible to truly let go of the past, I had found it ludicrous. After all, the past happened in the way as I remembered it. How can it be possible to change it?
You may have the same doubt too. The details of your past, as you recall them, may be somewhat fuzzy but if your memory gets jogged, you can still recall what had taken place — the painful emotional betrayal by someone you had trusted, the tragic loss of love, the cruel rejection that had left you abandoned, the psychological fear of being left behind, and so on.
The hurt. The sadness. The anger. Feeling rejection. Unloved. The pain that cuts the heart like a knife.
So how can something heart-wrenching that has already happened in the past be reversed?
As I discovered and now having worked with many women from across the world, I had found it entirely possible to let go of the past.
An attachment to a negative childhood story narrative keeps the emotional drama alive. Instead of recalling the past as it is, you experience the disruptions as if they are in the now. Your childhood pain gets amplified each time you retell the story with belief and emotion. Stories told over and over again, become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Repeated often enough, the story that you spin in a narrative creates your reality. It determines the quality of your living. As you apply your belief in it, it becomes part of your identity. When this happens, it is possible to feel lost without this story. Which leads to creating the problem of attachment.
All my life has turned out to be a disaster. I am just not made for relationships. I am just not good with people. I’m just not good enough for anything…and that includes love from my parents. I had felt unwanted ever since I was born.
It’s exactly what happened to Regina.
When Regina first reached out to me for help with clearing her money blocks, she went on and on about how her life suck. She blamed her spouse for their money problems, marriage breakdown and what he had done to destroy her life. Regina also complained about how she never got support from anyone; least of all, her mother.
She talked about never being “good enough” and how it hurt her so much to have a mother who had abandoned her when she was a child. Regina declared with some finality, “everyone is bound to leave me at some point”. It became apparent to me that she had an inner child that is wounded.
After going on for 45 minutes, she finally paused. It was when I asked her, “Regina, do you feel like you’re in charge of your life?” She turned and looked at me in surprise, as though I hadn’t been listening all this time. “Well, no,” she replied impatiently. “Or I wouldn’t be here talking to you.”
Specific events took place the way they did. Still, it is important to realise that the past only exists as a memory. It is comprised of a collection of thoughts. The past is simply a construct of your mind. Holding on to a disempowering story can put you in victimhood. What’s more, the conclusions arising from the past that you have made about the world or about yourself may not be true.
Using an inside-out approach, you can change the energy around your childhood story and how you are perceiving it. In reclaiming your power, what would help is to recognise that you have choice. You can decide what you would like to feel and think. Also, you get to decide the story that you would like to place attention on.
Releasing how you feel and think about the past creates the space for a shift to take place. Indicative signs are experienced in your body. They can be any one of the following signs…
– a dissolution of sharp pain over the heart
– a reduction in weight on the shoulders
– a reduction in lower back pain
– tension in the head disappearing and so on.
A positive change experienced in the body is enough to let you know that a shift has taken place internally.
Upon release, you can find it easier to integrate the lessons that serve you for growth.
At a subconscious level, you are invited to change some of the beliefs that you had formed in the past.
It is in the realisation that you are able to turn a story
from pain into power,
from rejection into love,
and from insecurity into confidence.
At this point, your whole body embodies a transformational shift.
If the life you are living is not in the way you like it to be, step back and review the story in your mind that you have been investing your energy on. Make sure the narrative is serving you. Because if it is not, you can always change it. Even if it is about the past.
Rather than dwell in blame, be aware that the past holds lessons that you can embrace. While you can’t change what has happened but you can certainly choose to be free of the past trauma that has been keeping you stuck. At an energetic level, you can rewrite your childhood story. (If you need more info, find out here).
As Tom Robbins, a best-selling novelist, says, “It is never too late to have a happy childhood.”
Work on inner child healing or releasing any pain or trauma from the past. It serves no one when you hold on to it. Instead, consider letting go of your unhappy past and rewriting your childhood story to one that serves you with lessons learnt.
What ultimately matters is how you intend to end the story of this existence — on an empowering note or a disempowering one? You have the power to choose. And it is up to you to take charge of the pen.
The rest of your autobiography is still unwritten and the power to write a great ending lies with you.
Love and Abundance always,
for Women Empowerment & Abundance Alchemy
P.S. Apply to Work with Me on Letting Go of the Past
The post How You Can Let Go of Past Trauma and Claim Your Power Back appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
What’s worse than getting caught in a storm in the middle of vacation? Not being prepared, of course! No matter where you’re heading next, a rain jacket should definitely find a way onto your packing list. This list of best packable rain jackets for men will help you find the most suitable one for you! … Read more
There’s nothing like a beautiful sunset or a pleasant Sunday morning to remind us that there is plenty to be thankful for in life. There’s nothing like a hug from your best friend or a call from your mom to remind you of what you’re grateful for. At first glance, it seems like being thankful … Read more
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Relationships are hard enough when both of you are on equal footing. But when one of you is asking, “How can I be more assertive?” it appears equal footing has lost its foundation. You’ve learned the hard way that passiveness in a relationship makes it easier for the other person to take advantage of you […]
The post 16 Of The Best Ways To Be More Assertive In A Relationship appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
Why do you let people push you around? You’ve asked yourself this, but the story behind your “must please everyone” behavior is not something you like to think about. You ask yourself, “How can I be nice without being a pushover?” But every time you’re faced with an opportunity to stand up for yourself, you […]
The post Stop Being A Pushover And Learn To Stand Up For Yourself appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
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The post Dear Younger Self: A Letter To Younger Me with Lessons Learned appeared first on NotSalmon.
When I started my journey as an energy healer and an abundance coach, it became pretty obvious to me that I have a fear of rejection.
More than once, I was shamed, ridiculed and told that I was doing something wrong. Whether it was about energy healing, helping others with emotional release or sharing about the Law of Attraction. It did not matter to the critics. In the beginning, I took such comments personally.
It’s even ridiculous, come to think of it. These friends had formed their judgments even though they hardly knew about my work, the research I had done or about the empirical evidence I had gathered. There was little attempt to understand these. No questions were asked.
But would it have made a difference?
They were already dead set in their opinions.
My problem was that I allowed what they say to bother me.
I can still recall energy draining from me.
The red flush that came over my face,
The hurt that I felt
and how my heart had dropped.
Indeed, the fear of rejection was a big thing for me. Even though I carried on doing what I believed in, I secretly craved for approval deep down inside. I longed to have that pat on my back for a job well done, to be acknowledged with nods, and to hear words of support. Well, my secret hopes for external validation did not quite manifest.
And so, once upon a time, I had reasoned that it would be safer to thread a lot more carefully, to hide and to be invisible. I wanted to escape attention from the people who were going to react in horror and who believed that I was going to burn in hell or something for what I do. While I did put myself out there, I would often retreat whenever I felt that it was unsafe to do so.
Years of growth have passed since then.
I have walked through the dungeons of my fear and emerged to be where I am today – a lot more free, fulfilled and self-accepting.
Along the way, I found out the fear of rejection had many aspects and layers. It’s also associated with “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not unworthy” and “I’m not lovable”. As I have found, eliminating this fear completely is not an overnight thing. It’s deeply rooted and it took multiple sessions of clearing work.
Just about a month ago, it happened again.
I was posting about mental health on Facebook and emphasising the importance of calling helplines if one is struggling. Well, a few friends turned this into a joke in a private chat group. Their banter diminished the seriousness about what I had to share.
I knew I should not take things personally but undeniably, when I found out about the joke, I felt a sharp tinge of hurt. In that very moment, I became aware that I was perceiving rejection. As I followed the story of fear, I was hit with nausea – a sick sensation in my stomach and an old feeling of dread that arose.
Fortunately, I was mindful enough to know what the story was doing to me. I could see that it’s not necessarily true that my friends are rejecting me; even though they might not have understood or fully accepted what I do. In any case, I also realised that I don’t need everyone’s approval. In fact, it would be impossible to get everyone’s approval.
What is of greater importance is that I practice self-acceptance and stand in the power of what I believe in. Additionally, I can choose to spend my energy and time with selective friends and those who’s open and willing to listen to what I have to share. And so, I reached out Even More to others by hosting free webinars and live sessions.
These days, I allow myself to feel the fear but at the same time, I don’t allow it to define me. That the fear of rejection should come up – through physical disruption – is only offering me the feedback that there are more layers to peel. Most of all, I have learnt to embrace myself and to follow the voice of my heart over the fear of rejection.
My inner work is to observe fear, so that I can transmute the feelings that arise and transcend the lessons that it has for me.
Hopefully, I can pass these lessons on to those needing to hear them too.
The fear of rejection can hold you back from stepping into greater confidence. You are not able to show up, be the leader that you are meant to be or align with your potential. It puts a ceiling on your dreams, limits your potential to grow and keeps you trapped in playing small.
So, if you struggle with the fear of rejection, here are 3 sets of reframe for your consideration…
1. Make the distinction between “I am fear” and “I feel fear”. When you tell yourself “I feel fear”, you’d know that just like any other feelings, fear can dissipate. You are not your fear of rejection.
2. Fear is offering you feedback. When you feel scared, anxious or tensed, you are offered an opportunity to release fear. The more you can release fear, the greater the freedom you are going to attain. Fear is giving you great lessons for transcendence and transformation.
3. Shift from fear of rejection into self-acceptance. Perhaps the greatest lesson in the fear of rejection is learning to love and accept yourself. Hence, learn to accept that you are different, that your dreams are special and that you don’t need to seek approval for who you are. As you shift into greater self-acceptance, you’d find it easier to feel the fear and do it anyway!
If despite reading the above and if fear continues to sabotage you because you are in self-rejection, apply for a discovery call with me right away!
Hope this article helps! Share your thoughts below.
Love and abundance always,
P.S. Would appreciate some social media love if you have enjoyed my vulnerable post
The post What the Fear of Rejection Taught Me About Self-Acceptance appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
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The post 67 Long-Distance Relationship Questions to Ask Your Significant Other appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
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