Note from M2bH: No one enters a marriage expecting it to fall apart. No one wants a marriage to fail—at least not at the beginning. There are steps that can be taken to help heal wounds and resolve issues and return love to the marital relationship. We encourage you to take those steps.
But some marriages are entered into inadvisably. Sometimes people change and love withers and abusive language and behavior replaces the thoughtful attention that defined the relationship in its happier years.
There are often feelings of shame and embarrassment, regret and disappointment, loneliness and a sense of failure that follow a divorce. But unhappiness is not your destined lot in life for having severed a marital relationship. Happiness can return. It can be rebuilt and rediscovered.
For those of you who have gone through a divorce and still struggle to find your way back to joy, today’s post is a guest write-up from Jade Gallagher meant to offer a way back to happiness.
There is no need to feel like your life has reached a dead end just because your marriage is over. You need to take the positive view that you can and will find life after divorce.
If you can develop some good survival strategies to get you through the initial pain of separation, this will definitely help to set you on the path to finding happiness again.
Let’s look at how to get through your divorce in the best way possible. How do you approach this situation in a positive way? Why is it important to create a reliable support network? There are also some tips on how to re-launch a better version of your old self.
Don’t subscribe to the stereotype
Getting divorced can be a traumatic and confrontational experience, but it is fair to say that not all divorcees hate each other after they have officially ended their marital relationship.
There are many different reasons why people get divorced. Specialists can help people sort through unique divorce issues. From fighting couples who have fallen out of love and friendship to those whose marriages have become verbally or physically violent.
Divorcing in a loving and compassionate way is not always possible. However, it is useful to attempt to find an amicable solution where possible. It will make it easier to recover from your divorce and get your life back on track as quickly as possible.
Reach out to others
If there was a simple strategy to help you cope with the feelings of pain and loss that you can experience with divorce, we would all be doing it, but there is rarely a magic solution to such a complex relationship problem.
One of the most important aspects of going through a divorce is being able to rely on a good support network of family and friends who will help you get through this difficult period in your life.
It is often not about the quantity of friends and family you can lean on that counts, as the quality matters more. Even if you only have one really good friend who offers a strong shoulder to cry on when you need it, this can be more valuable than a whole group of friends who offer some support but don’t always know what to say to you.
You should be prepared for some old friends to go missing when you get divorced as this can, and does, happen. Focus your efforts on finding the right people to reach out to, so that you get a great support network that you can truly rely on.
A new you
We all change in subtle ways over the years and if you had been married for a long while, you are almost certainly not the same person who fell in love all those years ago.
Getting divorced means you go through quite a life-altering change from being one-half of a couple to becoming a single person again. This can cause an identity crises that is difficult to adjust to.
Work on finding a way to redefine yourself and become the person you want to be now that you are on your own and, frankly speaking, have more personal freedom to explore new options.
Psychologists suggest that exploring previously untapped hobbies and interests is a good strategy for removing any feelings of grief after divorce.
You should find that a period of self-exploration can be very liberating and exciting. Taking up new hobbies and interests is a great way to combat any feelings of isolation that you might be experiencing.
Take a positive approach to your current situation and your future prospects and there is every chance that you can find happiness again after your divorce.
Jade Gallagher went through a messy divorce 18 months ago but is now stronger, and happier than ever before. She supports other women going through divorce (as well as the occasional guy) online through social media sites and her writing. For professional support check out DivorceGuru who help people in California.