How You Can Communicate with Money through S.P.A.R.K.

After reviewing what I had learned from my 20 years of marriage, I came up with 5 ways on how best to cultivate communication in a couple relationship. When I put the 5 ways together, I found out that it fitted nicely with a SPARK acronym and promptly extended its application to our relationship with money

Just imagine money as a partner for life. In order to build the best relationship with it, learning to speak the language that it loves can be helpful. Ultimately, we are able to attract a better response from our partner. Conversely, when we are not in sync, our ability to relate to each other goes down. 

The Chicken And Duck Problem in Communication 

Ever heard of the Chinese idiom about getting a chicken and duck to talk to each other?

The Chinese idiom literally means two persons having difficulty communicating with each other, as if they are speaking different languages. 

I often felt that way when I was communicating with my husband. Arguments would start when we couldn’t seem to get through to each other. At first, my response strategy was to avoid whenever the communication got too difficult. However, I soon realised that it was necessary to talk things over so that misunderstandings can be cleared up. 

Keeping communication lines open between my husband and I gave us the chance to work through our conflicts. Where I once preferred to flee from difficult conversations, I have since learned to stay the course. These days, I’m learning to practice more empathetic listening, patience and respond more wisely. I’m also working on articulating my needs and to be more present to his. Even with the tiny improvements made, I can already see how things have improved between us. 

What Does S.P.A.R.K. mean

Admittedly, S.P.A.R.K while simple to understand, takes some effort to apply.

Indeed, the steps may seem obvious when we are trying to relate to a person but we can certainly apply the same steps for building a better relationship with money.

The process involves thinking of money as a “lover” or friend whom we are interested to deepen our connection with. When we are better attuned, our relationship with money naturally improves. Feeing nurtured and supported, we find ourselves becoming more productive, energised and resilient. All these help us to attract more clients, business and work opportunities. We are also better able to show up for our families, work and/or business.

S.P.A.R.K. essentially comprises of 
S=Sort Things Out
P=Pause & Be Present
A=Affirm Positively
R=Raise Your Game
K=Keep Thanking.

Applying S.P.A.R.K. in How You Can Communicate with Money

Here’s a brief explanation 

S=Sort Things Out. Work on conflict resolution. Change your thoughts and feelings towards money.

P=Pause & Be Present. Be present. Apply ABC which stands for Always Be Connecting. Set healthy money dates.

A=Affirm Positively. Affirm positive beliefs about money, your confidence and relationship with it.

R=Raise Your Game. Money loves growth. Invest in money workshops. Speak finances and money lingo. Work on growing money, increasing sources of income and your money mindset.

K=Keep Thanking. Avoid taking things for granted. Adopt gratitude for the role of money in your life.

The Art of Money Communication

I wouldn’t have made it to celebrating 20 years of married life to the same guy if I hadn’t worked hard in improving my communication with him. We’ve learned the importance of connection, support and growth in our relationship. As we’ve discovered, it is an ongoing process and it can be an art in communicating with money sometimes. 

Similarly, to have a great relationship with money requires constant tending to. However, most people neglect their money relationship. It could be due to fear or some limiting beliefs in the way. It is best that we avoid tending to this as last in our priority, if we are interested to thrive financially in the world. Money is after all, something that we have to handle till the day we die. Hence, learning to better communicate with it is vital! 

Not forgetting, money loves compounding! Incremental improvements can go a long way. Thus, the earlier we make healthy money dates and learn to better speak the language of money, the more investment pay-offs we reap!

For more on S.P.A.R.K., check out the Relationship with Money course here. There are more examples and worksheets that you can download to work on improving the art of money communication. 

Love and Abundance Always, 
Evelyn Lim
Money Relationship Mentor 
Financial Therapist 

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