Written by Alden Tan

I answered a question on Quora today. Here we go:

In the realm of dating and romance:

The biggest lesson?

Women do prefer to date assholes.

I mean, no one would willingly choose to be with someone toxic, but as attraction is not a choice and that we are all emotional creatures, we fall for people we perceive to be able to be good for us.

This was when I was constantly baffled.

I was such a nice dude. I would treat girls nicely. I would do things for them without asking anything in return.

But I got fuck all in results. None of them liked me. I was rejected by all of them. I was hurt.

It was when I learnt: It’s not about Nice Guys Vs Bad Boys.

It’s Weak Guys Vs Strong Dudes.

Women like strong guys.

I had to keep fucking up, getting rejected, embarrassing myself, going on multiple dates and getting my heart broken to learn what it takes to be strong.

Through the process, I learnt social skills to show that I was strong.

I learnt to let go and accept it if a girl does not fancy me.

I learnt that as a gentleman, one should show they have the material things so she knows you’re capable of providing for her. If you think it’s all about the intangibles and she should appreciate you for that, you’re just a kid kidding yourself.

I learnt to ignore my friends’ advice because it was actually mostly rubbish. The dudes who openly claim they can get any girl are mostly lying douchebags.

I learnt to stand up for myself and say no to her.

No one taught me any of this.

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