Some Thoughts On The Subtle Trickery Of Absent Friends

Written by Alden Tan

  1. We all eventually become absent friends on some level for the simple fact that we will grow up and have our own obligations.
  2. But some friendships survive and thrive because we aren’t so close. It’s good distancing and the perfect amount of space.
  3. It’s understandable to be an absent friend, but it’s not reasonable to only show up when you need something.
  4. You shouldn’t immediately conclude an absent friend is a bad a friend.
  5. You shouldn’t lambast them and lecture them on how “everybody is busy today.”
  6. You definitely shouldn’t go on a tirade about how if the friendship means something, they will make time for you. That’s just annoying.
  7. But everything above is true. It’s up to you to make the time. You’d have no one to blame but yourself if a friendship dies completely.
  8. And smartphones make it way too easy to communicate today, but also makes it easy to be busy.
  9. If your idea of putting in effort is to only send one friendly text, then proceed to not reply after that, then you’re not really trying at all.
  10. The worst kind of absent friends are those who only show up so they can disagree with you angrily over some shit that somehow offended them.

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