What is Emotional Bypassing and Why It Matters
Emotional bypassing happens when we don’t allow ourselves to fully process our negative feelings. Instead, we sweep them under the carpet or we gloss over them by “willing” the mind to think positively. Say, something traumatic happens to us. We don’t face it because we fear feeling worse off. Thus, instead of grieving or upset, we simply put on a brave front and pretend that all is fine.
In another instance, we guilt-trip ourselves for feeling negative when we ought to be grateful. We believe that we have no right to complain about feeling poorly where someone else is at a more disadvantaged situation. And so we stuff our feelings inside.
Emotional bypassing is often referred to as spiritually bypassing. It was the late psychologist John Welwood who coined the term spiritual bypassing to describe what he saw in a Buddhist community. He describes it as the “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.” In the practice of non-attachment, many Buddhists deny what they truly feel.
However, those who practice other religions can be spiritually bypassing too. It happens where we are led to believe that a higher power will take care of our troubles and therefore there is no need for us to deal with hard feelings like anger, grief, fear, loneliness, envy, and shame. As a result, we adopt a sense of false positivity.
Whatever the circumstance is, there are negative consequences that arise from emotional bypassing. For a start, we may not be consciously aware that we are doing this. Through the years, we’ve become numb and we don’t realise that we’ve actually closed our hearts. Yet, it’s through the same channel that we experience both the positive and negative feelings. By opening our hearts, we give ourselves the chance to make a shift from sadness to joy, from anger to peace and from fear to love.
Consequences of Emotional Bypassing
Emotional bypassing is a form of coping mechanism. After all, we have been taught to put up a brave front. It’s embarrassing to let others know how vulnerable we feel. Unfortunately, when we don’t allow ourselves to release our negative feelings safely, they build up over time. It is possible that we develop issues like anxiety, depression and mental disorders. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, excess emotional activity can also create organ impairments and affect physical health.
When there are emotional wounds that are unresolved, our painful memories can come back to haunt us. It’s why we react excessively to small triggers. And we may find ourselves in repeated self-sabotage. Not forgetting, the body still remembers the trauma. Thus, we are in the same habitual patterns even though what we do doesn’t serve us.
Our ability to form healthy and loving relationship gets impacted. When we hold on to anger, we can’t truly forgive. For fear that we don’t get hurt again, we may choose to push away the ones who matter to us most. Because we secretly keep score, we show up with irritation, impatience and frustration. At the same time, we are unwilling to be honest with what we are truly feeling. These are examples of how emotional bypassing can lead to problems in our relationships.
Clearly, if we want things to change, we will need to first recognise if emotional bypassing is something we have been doing.
6 Signs if You Are Emotional Bypassing
Pin the infographic on emotional bypasing below onto your pinterest board 
The Path to Overall Wellness
We’ve been taught to look for the positive side to life, be optimistic, practice grateful for what we have and to find the silver lining behind the clouds. These are all great except that it will also help to process our negative feelings, when we have them. Heart and mind needs to be aligned, so that we can be resilient.
Emotional health needs to happen for overall well-being. We give ourselves the space to work through any burden that we are carrying. It is very healthy to work on letting go of negative emotions. Reach out to me, if you need assistance with emotional healing and/or releasing the past.
Let’s also be aware that while we acknowledge what we feel, we avoid identifying with our emotional life since it is transient. Feelings come and go and we don’t allow our feelings to define us. We allow them to flow through, releasing them and not attaching ourselves to them.
At every level of consciousness, we choose to be in optimal well-being. As spiritual beings, we are more than our emotional and physical life. In this physical experience, we allow our feelings to offer us feedback; so that we have the opportunity to transcend any spiritual lessons.
Read Related Article: Applying EFT Tapping prevents the problem of emotional bypassing
Love and abundance always,
Evelyn Lim
Abundance Coach
The post What is Emotional Bypassing and Why It Matters appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
Are You Getting Enough Sleep? If not, it Will Catch Up with You!
Are You Getting Enough Sleep? Study after study tells us how physically and emotionally damaging lack of sleep is. To compound matters, more studies are coming now proving that not getting enough sleep is also causing significant mental impairment in individuals, so add mentally damaging to physically and emotionally damaging. I don’t know about you,…
The post Are You Getting Enough Sleep? If not, it Will Catch Up with You! first appeared on Self Help Daily.
Top 100 Personal Development Blogs
The official Top 100 Personal Development Blogs is back!
Damn, I love this time of year. It’s all about setting your year up for massive success and what better way of doing that then presenting you with the best personal development blogs for the year. In fact, we bring you the Top 100!
This is the fifth year that we have compiled the Top 100 personal development blogs and every year we see more and more blogs adding great value to people all around the world.
I must say, because of all the awesome value that everyone is putting out there on the internet, it is getting harder and harder for personal development bloggers to make this list. So if you have made the list of the Top 100 personal development blogs this year then I, and everyone else, give you HUGE congratulations!
Now, more than ever, is the perfect time to regain focus on what you truly want in life and ensure you have the strategies and support you need to be successful at it too. The turn of the New Year gives us a clear time to separate the past and move forward into the future.
That’s why I love this time of year. It’s the perfect time for creating new habits, setting your goals and making real change in your life.
Being a student of the personal development industry most of my life, I’m always on the lookout for the latest and greatest resources to not only implement into my own life but to also share with those around me. Since I’ve been running my own business I’ve fallen more and more into the well of personal development and self-improvement and I absolutely love it! With the internet now a common place for everyone and the ‘free economy’ being born, it’s amazing to know that what was once hidden from the majority of people and limited to a select few people paying $5,000 to access information at a weekend seminar, this information is now mostly widely available for free on the internet or at least at a much more affordable price.
The key to all this information is being able to pull what’s relevant for you and being able to apply that information in a systematic and successful way that will lead you towards your desired life.
The Best Personal Development Blogs
I feel honoured to know that over the last few years I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know a lot of the blog owners in this list and share some great experiences with them. But not only that, there are so many of you making an impact in this world through your personal development blogs I can certainly say that after sifting through each and every self-improvement blog, I’m highly impressed with everyone’s work!
It is somewhat tricky putting together a list of the Top 100 personal development blogs as it can be rather subjective in nature. To avoid this, I’ve removed any of my own opinions or judgements and let pure metrics do the talking.
As with previous years, what I have created is a list of personal development blogs that rank from the most trafficked (largest number of visitors) down to the least trafficked. This list will provide you with a clear indication of how large a website is and its relative importance in the personal development blogosphere. Keep in mind, even though the blogs towards the bottom are the ‘least trafficked’, they are still within the Top 100 out of hundreds and thousands of personal development blogs out there on the internet (if not more!).
One thing to keep in mind, however, is that a larger site (a site ranked towards the top) does not necessarily indicate that the site is of better quality. Generally speaking, you will find that the larger sites have been around for longer and have more blog posts and content being crawled by Google. Because of this, they are sure to have larger audiences. In saying that, however, the top sites have lasted the test of time and continue to have strong readership so they must be doing something right!
Also, we do have a number of new blogs now ranking in the Top 100 that only started a year or two ago… massive congrats to these high achievers!
One thing to add, it always makes me smile when I see other people creating Top Personal Development Blog lists… because they’re almost an exact copy of this list! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? This is the fifth year our official list has been compiled and we continue to make it more comprehensive each year.
[sociallocker id=”5127″]https://www.startofhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Top-100-Personal-Development-Blogs-2016.pdf [/sociallocker]
How to Use This List
This is YOUR LIST.
This is a resource that I encourage you to save and come back to on a regular basis. As we progress throughout the year we all face different challenges and often those challenges have already been faced by others elsewhere in the world. That’s when I suggest you return to this list and find the right blog to guide you.
Each personal development blog is unique and has its own style and purpose. You will also find that you will resonate strongly with some blog owners and their content and perhaps less so with others. For this reason, there is a wide variety of blogs on the list; including business, career and work, happiness, health, productivity and more. The one thing in common is that they all are themed around self-improvement.
My recommendation to you is to browse through each of the blogs below at least once and then pick out the two or three blogs that really resonate with you.
Think about the below questions as you sift through each blog:
- Which blogs are most closely aligned to what you want to achieve in life?
- Which author has accomplished something that you would like to accomplish?
- Which blogs can help you right now in life and which ones might help you in the future?
Be sure to subscribe to their content and make personal development a key focus for you this year. It’s like having a free mentor or coach.
How The Top 100 Personal Development Blogs are Ranked
The Top 100 Personal Development Blogs are ranked in order from the most-trafficked (largest number of visitors) to the least-trafficked (although the smallest in this case is still a Top 100 Blog!)
There are two primary tools that have been used for determining this ranking.
Firstly, I have used the Alexa rank of the website as the primary ranking method. Alexa provides a relative ranking of each website based on the number of visitors it receives. A rank of 100,000 would mean that the site is the 100,000th most visited site on the internet. With the millions and millions of websites on the internet, such a ranking is classified as pretty good! Just so you know, Google’s rank is #1, Facebook is ranked #2 and YouTube is ranked #3.
Secondly, I have included Similar Web Rank. Similar Web is another online tool that was mentioned to me on a number of occasions as a more accurate tool for determining website traffic. Interestingly, I found that when compiling this list, the Alexa and Similar Web rankings were almost perfectly correlated.
This then led to the Average Rank. The Average Ranks is simply the average between the Alexa and Similar Web ranks.
People often question the validity of such tools, however, when comparing more generally the relative size of a website they are quite accurate and very useful indicators. Other tools might indicate that a lower-ranked blog in our Top 100 is infact larger than a higher-ranked blog, but generally speaking, the Top 10 websites will always be larger than those ranked 10-20, and those ranked 10-20 will always be larger than those ranked 20-30 etc. To sum it up, the larger and more trafficked sites will always tend to be ranked higher regardless of the tool being used.
Do you want to get really funky with the Top 100 blogs? I’m pleased to let you know that the Top 100 table is dynamic. This means that you can search for your favourite blog to see where it is ranked and sort by any column, such as page rank or alphabetical order. This is your list. Have fun with it!
The Winners
CONGRATULATIONS to every blogger that has made this Top 100 list! I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world.
[sociallocker id=”5127″]https://www.startofhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Top-100-Personal-Development-Blogs-2017.pdf [/sociallocker]
| URL | Owner’s Name | Average Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Life Hack | Leon Ho | 2,711 |
| 2 | Elite Daily | Gerard Adams | 5,537 |
| 3 | Greatist | Derek Flanzraich | 7,533 |
| 4 | The Art of Manliness | Brett McKay | 8,411 |
| 5 | Mind Body Green | Jason Wachob | 9,139 |
| 6 | Brain Pickings | Maria Popova | 13,634 |
| 7 | Tiny Buddha | Lori Deschene | 19,733 |
| 8 | Four Hour Work Week | Tim Ferriss | 20,349 |
| 9 | Darren Daily | Darren Hardy | 26,838 |
| 10 | Mark Manson | Mark Manson | 32,634 |
| 11 | ZenHabits | Leo Babauta | 32,716 |
| 12 | Nerd Fitness | Steve Kamb | 33,222 |
| 13 | I Will Teach You to be Rich | Ramit Sethi | 35,668 |
| 14 | Good Men Project | Lisa Hickey | 38,679 |
| 15 | James Clear | James Clear | 38,891 |
| 16 | Chris Kresser | Chris Kresser | 44,785 |
| 17 | Brian Tracy | Brian Tracy | 46,741 |
| 18 | The Positivity Blog | Henrik Edberg | 46,999 |
| 19 | Michael Hyatt’s Intentional Leadership | Michael Hyatt | 51,190 |
| 20 | Keep Inspiring Me | Darcie Connell | 54,724 |
| 21 | Marc and Angel Hack Life | Marc and Angel | 57,256 |
| 22 | Addicted 2 Success | Joel Brown | 62,653 |
| 23 | Barking Up the Wrong Tree | Eric Barker | 63,529 |
| 24 | Pick the Brain | Erin Falconer | 63,562 |
| 25 | PsyBlog | Jeremy Dean | 63,651 |
| 26 | Becoming Minimalist | Joshua Becker | 66,388 |
| 27 | Personal Excellence | Celestine Chua | 71,088 |
| 28 | Live Bold and Bloom | Barrie Davenport | 75,411 |
| 29 | Steve Pavlina | Steve Pavlina | 76,832 |
| 30 | Dumb Little Man | Jay White | 81,129 |
| 31 | Marie Forleo | Marie Forleo | 81,511 |
| 32 | Science of People | Vanessa Van Edwards | 86,010 |
| 33 | Derek Sivers | Derek Sivers | 94,278 |
| 34 | Scott H Young | Scott Young | 98,734 |
| 35 | Robin Sharma | Robin Sharma | 105,027 |
| 36 | Bold & Determined | Victor Pride | 109,823 |
| 37 | Steven Aitchison | Steven Aitchison | 113,562 |
| 38 | Actualized | Leo Gura | 118,510 |
| 39 | No Meat Athelete | Matt Frazier | 120,725 |
| 40 | Project Life Mastery | Stefan Pylarinos | 123,111 |
| 41 | Daring to Live Fully | Marelisa Fábrega | 127,960 |
| 42 | Success Concioscuness | Remez Sasson | 129,706 |
| 43 | Asian Efficiency | Aaron Lynn and Thanh Pam | 144,968 |
| 44 | The Charged Life | Brendon Burchard | 148,010 |
| 45 | The Happiness Project | Gretchen Rubin | 149,010 |
| 46 | Planet of Success | Steve Mueller | 149,186 |
| 47 | Penelope Trunk | Penelope Trunk | 154,381 |
| 48 | Robb Wolf | Robb Wolf | 161,217 |
| 49 | Be More With Less | Courtney Carver | 161,838 |
| 50 | Write to Done | Mary Jaksch | 164,678 |
| 51 | Jack Cranfield | Jack Cranfield | 174,067 |
| 52 | Ryan Holiday | Ryan Holiday | 175,494 |
| 53 | Motivation Grid | Cris Nikolov | 179,217 |
| 54 | Skip Prichard | Skip Prichard | 182,262 |
| 55 | Everday Power | NA | 182,510 |
| 56 | Live Your Legend | Chelsea Dinsmore | 186,276 |
| 57 | Develop Good Habits | SJ Scott | 188,505 |
| 58 | Purpose Fairy | Luminita D. Saviuc | 193,698 |
| 59 | Brain Blogger | Shaheen Lakhan | 219,615 |
| 60 | Location Rebel | Sean Ogle | 222,510 |
| 61 | The Change Blog | Peter Clemens | 223,890 |
| 62 | A Life of Productivity | Chris Bailey | 229,010 |
| 63 | Life Optimizer | Donald Latumahina | 241,956 |
| 64 | chrisguillebeau.com | Chris Guillebeau | 246,361 |
| 65 | Prolific Living | Farnoosh Brock | 264,661 |
| 66 | Louise Hay | Louise Hay | 267,510 |
| 67 | Raptitude | David Cain | 270,452 |
| 68 | Inspiyr | Dan Cassidy | 288,581 |
| 69 | Productivityist | Mike Vardy | 292,566 |
| 70 | Time Management Ninja | Craig Jarrow | 294,576 |
| 71 | Deepak Chopra | Deepak Chopra | 302,890 |
| 72 | FinerMinds | Andrea Vega | 304,550 |
| 73 | Wake Up Cloud | Henri Junttila | 306,517 |
| 74 | The Urban Monk | Pedram Shojai | 311,049 |
| 75 | Impossible HQ | Joel Runyon | 324,598 |
| 76 | Bullet Proof Exec | Dave Asprey | 333,105 |
| 77 | Start of Happiness | Brendan Baker | 337,916 |
| 78 | Advanced Life Skills | Jonathan Wells | 341,905 |
| 79 | Good Life Zen | Mary Jaksch | 344,124 |
| 80 | Paid to Exist | Jonathan Mead | 355,338 |
| 81 | Life Long Learner | Scott Britton | 358,581 |
| 82 | Tynan | Tynan | 358,758 |
| 83 | Aha-Now! | Harleena Singh | 360,949 |
| 84 | Dr Wayne Dyer | Dr Wayne Dyer | 375,193 |
| 85 | Think Simple Now | Tina Su | 376,587 |
| 86 | The Emotion Machine | Steven Handel | 396,302 |
| 87 | Productivity 501 | Mark Shead | 400,515 |
| 88 | Just Be Real | Theo Ellis | 455,859 |
| 89 | Jonathan Fields | Jonathan Fields | 456,994 |
| 90 | Yoga Dork | Jennilyn Carson | 489,965 |
| 91 | Sid Savara | Sid Savara | 499,024 |
| 92 | Alden Tan | Alden Tan | 518,551 |
| 93 | Run to the Finish | Amanda Brooks | 522,118 |
| 94 | Your Life Your Way | Tia Sparkles | 534,462 |
| 95 | Basic Growth | Simon Somlai | 544,038 |
| 96 | Start Gaining Momentum | Ludvig Sunstrom | 581,294 |
| 97 | Positive Writer | Bryan Hutchinson | 604,348 |
| 98 | The Bridge Maker | Alex Blackwell | 628,018 |
| 99 | Thoughts on Life and Love | Mandy Kloppers | 632,524 |
| 100 | Deliberate Receiving | Melody Fletcher | 703,681 |
[sociallocker id=”5127″]https://www.startofhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Top-100-Personal-Development-Blogs-2017.pdf [/sociallocker]
Now What?
The tools, strategies and support you need to live your best year ever are all here waiting for you. Now, it’s in your power to start living out your most inspired and desired life.
Only you can make the difference in your life this year. I give you full permission to make this your best year ever and apply what you need to from these blogs into your life.
If you need some instant motivation and inspiration, then make sure you check out the Top 100 Motivational & Inspirational Quotes for 2017.
If you want to get some actionable tools that you can implement into your life right now, make sure you access our Free Toolkit.
If you’re keen to make the Top 100 for next year, you might be interested in registering for my course: First 1000 Subscribers (currently open for enrollment but closing shortly).
Over to You!
Do you have a favourite blog on the list?
Which blogs do you find you get the most value from?
What other personal development resources do you use to live a better life?
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
Here’s to making this year your best year yet!
Brendan
P.S. Do you know of someone that would love to see this list? Please share this list using one of the buttons below. You’ll most likely make their day!
Related Posts
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- Top 100 Motivational and Inspirational Quotes
- Free Tool (download): 5 Steps to Scheduling the Best Year of Your Life
- Free Tool (download): Wheel of Life – A Self-Assessment Tool
- 17 Strategies For Managing Stress (That Work)
- The Power of a Smile – How Smiling Can Change Your Life and Change the World
- Trajectory: A Model For Your Path in Life
- How to Conduct Your Personal Mid-Year Review
- How to Become a Millionaire By Investing Just $5 Per Day
- Money Can’t Buy Happiness… But Happiness Can Get You Money!
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How to Heal Childhood Wounds: 4 Common Patterns
A childhood wound is an emotional pain or a negative belief that a part of us internalised due to a traumatic past event or the relationship we had with our parents or caregivers when we were young.
As I have discovered, unresolved childhood wounds can adversely affect the quality of life in our adult years. Indeed, they have an impact on our personalities, beliefs, career choices, and relationships. We can also be passing on our childhood wounds to the future generations.
Our wounded child is acting up if we often find ourselves in self-sabotage, making poor choices or having over-the-top reactions to triggers. She or he is crying for attention of unhealed emotions. If we choose to ignore our wounded child, we can be stuck for years.
Awareness helps to kickstart our healing journey. We can start to uncover the emotional childhood wounds that we have. In this article, I am sharing 4 common patterns. Manifesting what we do want and transforming our life often becomes a lot easier after healing work is done.
4 Common Patterns of Childhood Wounds
Learn to identify 4 common patterns of childhood wounds and check to see if you have them…
1. Abandonment Wound
– Feels left behind & lonely.
– Rather insecure.
– Co-dependency.
Description: If you’ve often felt lonely, left behind or left out, you may have an abandonment wound. It could be tied to childhood where you’ve perceived being abandoned by your parents or caregivers. As a result, you have deep fears of being left on your own and can become clingy and needy.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to quit on relationships on suspicion that the partner is going to leave anytime soon and tendency to abandon projects early.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Remind yourself that other people are not abandoning you. Distinguish between fact vs fiction. Release any past abandonment childhood wound (one option is to apply EFT tapping). Stay committed to projects.
2. Guilt Wound
– Feels “sorry” when asking for things.
– Uses guilt to manipulate others.
– Can’t seem to set boundaries.
Description: If you’ve often felt like you need to take care of others, you may have a guilt childhood wound. As a child, you may have been made to feel bad for asking for things and that you are not deserving. As a result, you try to over-give or be “good”. Yet, when you do so, your efforts are not appreciated. It is also when you guilt-trip others. This doesn’t satisfy you either.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to be around those who make you feel guilty.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Avoid thinking that you have to rescue everyone. Release any guilt that your inner child is holding on to. Work on setting healthy boundaries.
3. Betrayal Wound
– Can’t trust.
– Suspicious of others.
– Want control.
– Need plenty of external validation.
Description: When you generally don’t trust life, you may have a betrayal childhood wound. It may be that your parents weren’t able to fulfil promises or have failed you in some way. In order to compensate, you find yourself needing control. However, the inability to control everything causes you to feel vulnerable and insecure.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to attract people who would betray you or who fail to keep promises.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Build inner trust by keeping to promises & commitments to yourself first. Heal any betrayal wound that comes from the past. Practice surrender and letting go, knowing that you are actually safe.
4. Neglect Wound
– Low self-worth.
– Feels vulnerable, uncared for and unsupported.
– Represses feelings.
Description: When you often feel unsupported and have deep fears of being rejected and “not important”, you may have a neglect childhood wound. You are afraid of “not being seen” and you bottle anger on the inside. This can cause you to have sudden outbursts.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to attract situations where you are “unseen” or unappreciated.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Acknowledge how your inner child feels and help her (or him) to release any bottled up emotions. Let her know that you are there for her now and that you are always available to support her.
Summary of Childhood Wounds
Pin the following on your pinterest board
Heal Your Childhood Wounds: What Is Next
The above are 4 common patterns to childhood wounds, amongst others. It’s possible for anyone to have more than one wound pattern. For a start, learn to identify the various patterns and aspects and how they may have impacted you. Stay alert to the 7 signs that your inner child may be asking for help.
“The emotional wounds and negative patterns of childhood often manifest as mental conflicts, emotional drama, and unexplained pains in adulthood.” ~Unknown
Awareness is only the first step. For healing to be integrated, I recommend looking into using a somatic approach such as EFT tapping. In the book The Body Keeps the Score, we find out that the body stores the trauma and therefore, it is vital for releasing the wounds or negative patterns from the body. Do reach out to me if you need assistance on EFT tapping for wounded child healing.
Hope this helps,
Evelyn Lim
Abundance Coach for Women
Accredited Advanced EFT Practitioner
Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner
Related articles:
1. What is Wounded Child Healing
2. 7 Signs that Your Wounded Child Needs Help
3.What is Reparenting Yourself and How to Get Started
The post How to Heal Childhood Wounds: 4 Common Patterns appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
How Nellie Released Limiting Money Blocks to Client Attraction and Authentic Selling
I was helping a client (let’s call her Nellie, not her real name) clarify the ideal client that she’d like to work with, when we discovered that she was having some limiting money blocks about people who are wealthy.
Nellie’s line of work requires her to service the needs of wealthy individuals or at least people with excess funds. If she releases her subconscious blocks, client attraction can potentially happen with greater ease. It will certainly help Nellie to have more clients as the extra income that she gets can go a long way to supporting her family with two young kids. Since her beliefs could be in the way for client attraction and business sales, we proceeded to work on releasing the limiting money blocks.
Childhood Situation that Created Limiting Money Blocks
When I asked Nellie what some of her discomfort was reminding her of, she recalled two childhood incidents when she was 11 years old that had left her feeling lousy, disgusted and ashamed.
Back then, Nellie had signed up for a holiday job that required her to sell Christmas cards. She was tasked to go from house to house, in order to make some sales. Since it was a rich neighbourhood, she was expecting to sell her Christmas cards easily.
However, when her 11-year old self knocked on one such door, the man who opened it looked at her with irritation. The look on the man’s face made her feel as she was some kind of pest. As she related, a thought crossed her mind, “what mother said about rich people must be true.”
Nellie’s mother had previously shared her thoughts about how “rich” people are like. They were mostly negative. It resulted in Nellie adopting a bad impression and yet, causing her to feel inferior and second class to friends who come from wealthier backgrounds.
In the meantime, her 11-year old self was also taught to use dishonesty by saying that the proceeds made from the Christmas cards would be donated to charity (when in fact, there were later indications that this did not happen).
What Happened During Our Session
Well, we worked on helping her inner child release any negative emotional disruptions using EFT tapping.
At the same time, we worked on letting go of the limiting beliefs that Nellie had formed. Her younger self had internalised the messages that belonged to her mother. These needed to be released, since they don’t serve her now or at all. Also, we needed to help her clear the conflict she was experiencing in her value system.
The 3 limiting money beliefs that Nellie had were…
- Rich people are stingy.
- I’m cheap, having to ask for the money.
- I need to sell dishonestly in order to make a sale.
We reframed these beliefs into more positive ones. I pointed out that one can be stingy – whether rich or poor. We also agreed that it’s possible for someone to be both rich and generous too. Thus, it is false that ALL rich people are stingy.
The positive beliefs that we installed included…
- I allow client attraction to happen with greater ease.
- I attract ideal clients who are happy to be working together.
- It is safe for me to use authentic ways to connect with ideal clients and to promote my offers easily.
- I am worthy of working with all those who can benefit from my services.
Finally, we set an intention for attracting a vibrational match to her ideal client type.
Nellie reported to feeling more energised, lighter, and confident in the way forward. We discussed some energetic aligned actions that she can apply for her business, as a follow through on her session. I’m excited for her and glad that our session went well
What’s Next for You
Which brings me to the point about writing this post: how you can help yourself.
Ask yourself if you are having any limiting beliefs or stories about selling, client attraction or making money.
How is having this belief or message making you feel?
Does this feeling remind you of something in the past?
If so, when was this? What age were you? What happened?
Next, use the information to work on releasing blocks that are in your way. You can use any emotional or energy release method. Personally, I like using a combination of therapeutic approaches including EFT tapping, inner child healing, NLP and so on. Affirm new beliefs that support you with creating the business that you love and that thrives.
If you need any assistance, reach out to me here. Or if you prefer to work through limiting beliefs on your own, check out my transform your relationship with money course.
Hope this helps!
Love and abundance always,
Evelyn
Abundance Coach
Other client stories can be found here…
The post How Nellie Released Limiting Money Blocks to Client Attraction and Authentic Selling appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
Magical Mornings – How to Get More Done Before Breakfast
There is something special about waking up early each day.
It is a secret sauce for getting a heck of a lot more done in life.
Almost 3 weeks ago I decided to change my daily schedule by waking up at 4am each day.
4am you say?!
You bet!
Let me tell you how to do it shortly.
But first, let me quickly tell you why I have chosen to do this.
Why wake up so early?
There are literally zero distractions. Your willpower is at its highest. You can focus 100 percent on whatever your biggest goal in life is.
Think about this:
If you were to wake up at 4am each day and get in 3 hours of deep, focused, work before most people wake up at around 7am, that totals 21 hours of work a week, 82 hours of work a month, and over 1,000 hours of work for the year.
1,000 hours of focused, deep work a year is equal to 125x 8hour working days… but these are not your typical 8hr working days with interruptions, meetings, and breaks. These are 8 hours of FOCUSED, DEEP WORK on your most important goals.
Taking it a step further, 125x 8 hr working days is equal to working full-time, in a deep and focused state on your most important goals for 25 weeks of the year! That is just shy of 6 months.
It is crazy how these numbers stack up.
And all it takes it simply waking up earlier and getting focused on what matters most and being consistent with it.
Does it really work?
Most definitely!
In the last three weeks I have:
- Completely updated my Change Your Life program.
- Ran a Flash Sale for you guys.
- Overhauled my website – new theme, new homepage, mostly a lot of backend and design elements that will make things simpler moving forward (check it out if interested and tell me what you think).
- Created a side hustle which I have been hustling on for the last couple of weeks (unfortunately it is not going as well as I had planned… I rapidly launched this to test the idea and so far, it is a slow start).
- Created two other multi-page websites (fully designed and complete) as part of the new side hustle.
- Got more exercise in… being able to go for a walk or a bicycle ride at 5am while the sun is rising is incredibly special… there is something about it that is magical.
- Read 3 books… although this one is because I have changed my night-time routine (to help me start effectively with my morning).
Just writing the above makes me feel in awe of this process. It is simply amazing the output that can be created when this time stacks up each day.
But it is not as simple as it sounds… mostly because I have three young children between the ages of 1 and 5. So, as any parent would understand, trying to stick to a schedule is incredibly hard!
The mornings are the easy part because everyone is sleeping. The hardest part is getting to sleep on time.
I need at LEAST 8 hours of sleep each night to perform at my best. So, to wake up at 4am means getting to bed no later than 8pm. But even then, it is impossible to get a full 8 hours of sleep in because my kids are always waking up each night. I have not had a full-night’s sleep for 5 years now, except for the odd occasion when I am away for business travel. Any parents with young children reading this know exactly what I am talking about!
Here is the reality.
I have only actually woken up at 4am twice during this time (well, one time I got up at 3:57am which was ever better).
To get an 8 hour sleep I really need “bed time” of 8.5 hours, and preferably 9 hours.
Getting to bed at 8pm is tricky. My kids are often still mucking around until 8pm, or sometimes even 8:30pm!
And then there is that time I used to spend with my wife – after the kids are sleep and before our own sleep. This was our quality time together. Going to bed at 8pm took this way.
As a result, I have been tweaking my strategy over the past few weeks and my typical day now looks like:
- Bed-time between 8:30pm and 9pm
- Awake at 5:30am.
So, my goal of 4am has only been achieved twice. But that’s ok, because every other day over the past 3 weeks I have been up by 6am at the very latest.
This has given me at least one hour every day, and probably about 1 hour and 45minutes on average over the past 3 weeks to really focus deeply on these goals.
Even just 1 hour of deep, focused, work a day, will tally up to 45 rock solid 8 hr days with no breaks, which tallies 2 and a half months of full-time work a year. And again, this is time purely on deep, focused, work. Incredible!
How do you do it?
I found it quite simple.
You simply set a strict rule for yourself in terms of your bedtime and wake up time.
Make sure you push all your bed-time rituals forward to meet your deadline. ie, stop drinking caffeine earlier in the day, stop all your screen time earlier than usual, eat earlier if need be, and so forth.
The main thing is to really internalise the benefits of doing this. The primary benefit being that you will get undistracted, highly focused work done on your most important goals in life. Whether that is working on a big project at work, perhaps it is doing your side hustle, or perhaps it is writing your book, or perhaps it is getting your daily exercise in.
Whatever it is, you need to internalise the benefit of doing this and achieving it.
The other thing is to plan the night before what you will do in the morning.
You do not want to wake up, hit your desk, and then use your willpower and waste time trying to figure out what you are going to do.
Instead, have it planned… know exactly what you are going to do.
Perhaps its that you will write 1,000 words of your book, or that you are going to go for a bicycle ride through the park, or that you are going to research a certain topic.
Having it planned means that within five minutes of waking up, you are focused and doing productive work.
My first 3 weeks have been amazing.
The challenge for me now is to keep this up. I have no intention of stopping this.
I challenge you to experience the magic of the mornings.
This is the time you can really change your life, by working at it every single day.
When you win your mornings, you win the day.
Are you with me?
Brendan
The post Magical Mornings – How to Get More Done Before Breakfast appeared first on The Start of Happiness.
How Nellie Released Limiting Money Blocks to Client Attraction and Authentic Selling
I was helping a client (let’s call her Nellie, not her real name) clarify the ideal client that she’d like to work with, when we discovered that she was having some limiting money blocks about people who are wealthy.
Nellie’s line of work requires her to service the needs of wealthy individuals or at least people with excess funds. If she releases her subconscious blocks, client attraction can potentially happen with greater ease. It will certainly help Nellie to have more clients as the extra income that she gets can go a long way to supporting her family with two young kids. Since her beliefs could be in the way for client attraction and business sales, we proceeded to work on releasing the limiting money blocks.
Childhood Situation that Created Limiting Money Blocks
When I asked Nellie what some of her discomfort was reminding her of, she recalled two childhood incidents when she was 11 years old that had left her feeling lousy, disgusted and ashamed.
Back then, Nellie had signed up for a holiday job that required her to sell Christmas cards. She was tasked to go from house to house, in order to make some sales. Since it was a rich neighbourhood, she was expecting to sell her Christmas cards easily.
However, when her 11-year old self knocked on one such door, the man who opened it looked at her with irritation. The look on the man’s face made her feel as she was some kind of pest. As she related, a thought crossed her mind, “what mother said about rich people must be true.”
Nellie’s mother had previously shared her thoughts about how “rich” people are like. They were mostly negative. It resulted in Nellie adopting a bad impression and yet, causing her to feel inferior and second class to friends who come from wealthier backgrounds.
In the meantime, her 11-year old self was also taught to use dishonesty by saying that the proceeds made from the Christmas cards would be donated to charity (when in fact, there were later indications that this did not happen).
What Happened During Our Session
Well, we worked on helping her inner child release any negative emotional disruptions using EFT tapping.
At the same time, we worked on letting go of the limiting beliefs that Nellie had formed. Her younger self had internalised the messages that belonged to her mother. These needed to be released, since they don’t serve her now or at all. Also, we needed to help her clear the conflict she was experiencing in her value system.
The 3 limiting money beliefs that Nellie had were…
- Rich people are stingy.
- I’m cheap, having to ask for the money.
- I need to sell dishonestly in order to make a sale.
We reframed these beliefs into more positive ones. I pointed out that one can be stingy – whether rich or poor. We also agreed that it’s possible for someone to be both rich and generous too. Thus, it is false that ALL rich people are stingy.
The positive beliefs that we installed included…
- I allow client attraction to happen with greater ease.
- I attract ideal clients who are happy to be working together.
- It is safe for me to use authentic ways to connect with ideal clients and to promote my offers easily.
- I am worthy of working with all those who can benefit from my services.
Finally, we set an intention for attracting a vibrational match to her ideal client type.
Nellie reported to feeling more energised, lighter, and confident in the way forward. We discussed some energetic aligned actions that she can apply for her business, as a follow through on her session. I’m excited for her and glad that our session went well
What’s Next for You
Which brings me to the point about writing this post: how you can help yourself.
Ask yourself if you are having any limiting beliefs or stories about selling, client attraction or making money.
How is having this belief or message making you feel?
Does this feeling remind you of something in the past?
If so, when was this? What age were you? What happened?
Next, use the information to work on releasing blocks that are in your way. You can use any emotional or energy release method. Personally, I like using a combination of therapeutic approaches including EFT tapping, inner child healing, NLP and so on. Affirm new beliefs that support you with creating the business that you love and that thrives.
If you need any assistance, reach out to me here. Or if you prefer to work through limiting beliefs on your own, check out my transform your relationship with money course.
Hope this helps!
Love and abundance always,
Evelyn
Abundance Coach
Other client stories can be found here…
The post How Nellie Released Limiting Money Blocks to Client Attraction and Authentic Selling appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
How to Heal Childhood Wounds: 4 Common Patterns
A childhood wound is an emotional pain or a negative belief that a part of us internalised due to a traumatic past event or the relationship we had with our parents or caregivers when we were young.
As I have discovered, unresolved childhood wounds can adversely affect the quality of life in our adult years. Indeed, they have an impact on our personalities, beliefs, career choices, and relationships. We can also be passing on our childhood wounds to the future generations.
Our wounded child is acting up if we often find ourselves in self-sabotage, making poor choices or having over-the-top reactions to triggers. She or he is crying for attention of unhealed emotions. If we choose to ignore our wounded child, we can be stuck for years.
Awareness helps to kickstart our healing journey. We can start to uncover the emotional childhood wounds that we have. In this article, I am sharing 4 common patterns. Manifesting what we do want and transforming our life often becomes a lot easier after healing work is done.
4 Common Patterns of Childhood Wounds
Learn to identify 4 common patterns of childhood wounds and check to see if you have them…
1. Abandonment Wound
– Feels left behind & lonely.
– Rather insecure.
– Co-dependency.
Description: If you’ve often felt lonely, left behind or left out, you may have an abandonment wound. It could be tied to childhood where you’ve perceived being abandoned by your parents or caregivers. As a result, you have deep fears of being left on your own and can become clingy and needy.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to quit on relationships on suspicion that the partner is going to leave anytime soon and tendency to abandon projects early.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Remind yourself that other people are not abandoning you. Distinguish between fact vs fiction. Release any past abandonment childhood wound (one option is to apply EFT tapping). Stay committed to projects.
2. Guilt Wound
– Feels “sorry” when asking for things.
– Uses guilt to manipulate others.
– Can’t seem to set boundaries.
Description: If you’ve often felt like you need to take care of others, you may have a guilt childhood wound. As a child, you may have been made to feel bad for asking for things and that you are not deserving. As a result, you try to over-give or be “good”. Yet, when you do so, your efforts are not appreciated. It is also when you guilt-trip others. This doesn’t satisfy you either.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to be around those who make you feel guilty.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Avoid thinking that you have to rescue everyone. Release any guilt that your inner child is holding on to. Work on setting healthy boundaries.
3. Betrayal Wound
– Can’t trust.
– Suspicious of others.
– Want control.
– Need plenty of external validation.
Description: When you generally don’t trust life, you may have a betrayal childhood wound. It may be that your parents weren’t able to fulfil promises or have failed you in some way. In order to compensate, you find yourself needing control. However, the inability to control everything causes you to feel vulnerable and insecure.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to attract people who would betray you or who fail to keep promises.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Build inner trust by keeping to promises & commitments to yourself first. Heal any betrayal wound that comes from the past. Practice surrender and letting go, knowing that you are actually safe.
4. Neglect Wound
– Low self-worth.
– Feels vulnerable, uncared for and unsupported.
– Represses feelings.
Description: When you often feel unsupported and have deep fears of being rejected and “not important”, you may have a neglect childhood wound. You are afraid of “not being seen” and you bottle anger on the inside. This can cause you to have sudden outbursts.
Sabotaging Pattern: Tendency to attract situations where you are “unseen” or unappreciated.
How to Heal Childhood Wound: Acknowledge how your inner child feels and help her (or him) to release any bottled up emotions. Let her know that you are there for her now and that you are always available to support her.
Summary of Childhood Wounds
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Heal Your Childhood Wounds: What Is Next
The above are 4 common patterns to childhood wounds, amongst others. It’s possible for anyone to have more than one wound pattern. For a start, learn to identify the various patterns and aspects and how they may have impacted you. Stay alert to the 7 signs that your inner child may be asking for help.
“The emotional wounds and negative patterns of childhood often manifest as mental conflicts, emotional drama, and unexplained pains in adulthood.” ~Unknown
Awareness is only the first step. For healing to be integrated, I recommend looking into using a somatic approach such as EFT tapping. In the book The Body Keeps the Score, we find out that the body stores the trauma and therefore, it is vital for releasing the wounds or negative patterns from the body. Do reach out to me if you need assistance on EFT tapping for wounded child healing.
Hope this helps,
Evelyn Lim
Abundance Coach for Women
Accredited Advanced EFT Practitioner
Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner
Related articles:
1. What is Wounded Child Healing
2. 7 Signs that Your Wounded Child Needs Help
3.What is Reparenting Yourself and How to Get Started
The post How to Heal Childhood Wounds: 4 Common Patterns appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.
Magical Mornings – How to Get More Done Before Breakfast
There is something special about waking up early each day.
It is a secret sauce for getting a heck of a lot more done in life.
Almost 3 weeks ago I decided to change my daily schedule by waking up at 4am each day.
4am you say?!
You bet!
Let me tell you how to do it shortly.
But first, let me quickly tell you why I have chosen to do this.
Why wake up so early?
There are literally zero distractions. Your willpower is at its highest. You can focus 100 percent on whatever your biggest goal in life is.
Think about this:
If you were to wake up at 4am each day and get in 3 hours of deep, focused, work before most people wake up at around 7am, that totals 21 hours of work a week, 82 hours of work a month, and over 1,000 hours of work for the year.
1,000 hours of focused, deep work a year is equal to 125x 8hour working days… but these are not your typical 8hr working days with interruptions, meetings, and breaks. These are 8 hours of FOCUSED, DEEP WORK on your most important goals.
Taking it a step further, 125x 8 hr working days is equal to working full-time, in a deep and focused state on your most important goals for 25 weeks of the year! That is just shy of 6 months.
It is crazy how these numbers stack up.
And all it takes it simply waking up earlier and getting focused on what matters most and being consistent with it.
Does it really work?
Most definitely!
In the last three weeks I have:
- Completely updated my Change Your Life program.
- Ran a Flash Sale for you guys.
- Overhauled my website – new theme, new homepage, mostly a lot of backend and design elements that will make things simpler moving forward (check it out if interested and tell me what you think).
- Created a side hustle which I have been hustling on for the last couple of weeks (unfortunately it is not going as well as I had planned… I rapidly launched this to test the idea and so far, it is a slow start).
- Created two other multi-page websites (fully designed and complete) as part of the new side hustle.
- Got more exercise in… being able to go for a walk or a bicycle ride at 5am while the sun is rising is incredibly special… there is something about it that is magical.
- Read 3 books… although this one is because I have changed my night-time routine (to help me start effectively with my morning).
Just writing the above makes me feel in awe of this process. It is simply amazing the output that can be created when this time stacks up each day.
But it is not as simple as it sounds… mostly because I have three young children between the ages of 1 and 5. So, as any parent would understand, trying to stick to a schedule is incredibly hard!
The mornings are the easy part because everyone is sleeping. The hardest part is getting to sleep on time.
I need at LEAST 8 hours of sleep each night to perform at my best. So, to wake up at 4am means getting to bed no later than 8pm. But even then, it is impossible to get a full 8 hours of sleep in because my kids are always waking up each night. I have not had a full-night’s sleep for 5 years now, except for the odd occasion when I am away for business travel. Any parents with young children reading this know exactly what I am talking about!
Here is the reality.
I have only actually woken up at 4am twice during this time (well, one time I got up at 3:57am which was ever better).
To get an 8 hour sleep I really need “bed time” of 8.5 hours, and preferably 9 hours.
Getting to bed at 8pm is tricky. My kids are often still mucking around until 8pm, or sometimes even 8:30pm!
And then there is that time I used to spend with my wife – after the kids are sleep and before our own sleep. This was our quality time together. Going to bed at 8pm took this way.
As a result, I have been tweaking my strategy over the past few weeks and my typical day now looks like:
- Bed-time between 8:30pm and 9pm
- Awake at 5:30am.
So, my goal of 4am has only been achieved twice. But that’s ok, because every other day over the past 3 weeks I have been up by 6am at the very latest.
This has given me at least one hour every day, and probably about 1 hour and 45minutes on average over the past 3 weeks to really focus deeply on these goals.
Even just 1 hour of deep, focused, work a day, will tally up to 45 rock solid 8 hr days with no breaks, which tallies 2 and a half months of full-time work a year. And again, this is time purely on deep, focused, work. Incredible!
How do you do it?
I found it quite simple.
You simply set a strict rule for yourself in terms of your bedtime and wake up time.
Make sure you push all your bed-time rituals forward to meet your deadline. ie, stop drinking caffeine earlier in the day, stop all your screen time earlier than usual, eat earlier if need be, and so forth.
The main thing is to really internalise the benefits of doing this. The primary benefit being that you will get undistracted, highly focused work done on your most important goals in life. Whether that is working on a big project at work, perhaps it is doing your side hustle, or perhaps it is writing your book, or perhaps it is getting your daily exercise in.
Whatever it is, you need to internalise the benefit of doing this and achieving it.
The other thing is to plan the night before what you will do in the morning.
You do not want to wake up, hit your desk, and then use your willpower and waste time trying to figure out what you are going to do.
Instead, have it planned… know exactly what you are going to do.
Perhaps its that you will write 1,000 words of your book, or that you are going to go for a bicycle ride through the park, or that you are going to research a certain topic.
Having it planned means that within five minutes of waking up, you are focused and doing productive work.
My first 3 weeks have been amazing.
The challenge for me now is to keep this up. I have no intention of stopping this.
I challenge you to experience the magic of the mornings.
This is the time you can really change your life, by working at it every single day.
When you win your mornings, you win the day.
Are you with me?
Brendan
The post Magical Mornings – How to Get More Done Before Breakfast appeared first on The Start of Happiness.
One Can Make a Difference: How You Can BE the Change You Want to See in the World
The review below is for one of the most inspiring and wonderful books I’ve read and reviewed over the years. I am editing it a bit and republishing it today. Why? Because, frankly, I believe we need bold, brazened, on-fire for the right reasons people more than ever before and if reading these stories lights…
The post One Can Make a Difference: How You Can BE the Change You Want to See in the World first appeared on Self Help Daily.