A money date is one where you are working on your finances; whether on your own, with your partner or team. It is one where you specify a day and time on your calendar for a money-related activity that is meant to help you consolidate, improve and/or strengthen your personal or joint financial position. It may be that you need to work on

• budgeting, 
• creating a spreadsheet to monitor expenses, 
• discussing with your partner on financial options, 
• reviewing your earnings, 
• finding better ways to minimise tax, 
• paying down your loans,
• moving of investment funds between accounts, 
• getting updated advice from your financial planner, etc. 

By scheduling money dates on a regular basis, you are better able to identify gaps, opportunities and ideas instead of making any personal financial activity as a once-a-year event.

Most entrepreneurs are focused on business planning at the start of a new year. Strategising typically involves looking at the calendar and setting some dates for product launches or workshops. Those who are conscious about work/life balance may also schedule self-care activities. Other than these mentioned, I find it important to schedule money dates on a regular basis. In fact, not just entrepreneurs, I would recommend setting money dates for anyone. 

4 Broad Areas to Look Into for Healthy Money Dates

I am not a financial expert but the following areas are ones that I would recommend to get started… 

1. Debt. Repay loans if it no longer make sense to hold on to debt. Make a comparison between the interest rates that you are paying and the rates of return that you can potentially earn. Restructure where necessary. 

2. Income. Align with your overall vision on the life and business that you would love to create. Identify multiple sources of income. 

2. Savings. Work on a savings plan for big purchases. Cut down expenses or unnecessary fat to build savings. Make a budget. 

3. Investment. Review and rework investment plan if necessary. Take some calculated risks and consider creating a diversified portfolio that will help you to make money on money. 

Cycle through the 4 broad themes on a monthly or quarterly basis during the year. From the broad themes, identify the specific tasks to be done on a weekly basis. Follow through on these tasks. Or hire a coach like myself to keep you accountable  

But….What if getting on a money date feels hard for you? 

What if anything remotely related to personal finance gets your stomach churning in discomfort? 

Or your face turning green? 

Most people can’t get going on money dates if their emotions are in the way. 

Any thought, idea or action that involves personal money brings up feelings of shame, guilt, blame, anger, sadness and so on. 

Hence, the tendency is to avoid, procrastinate, pretend, hide and so on.

Well, recognise that any of these defensive behaviour are only meant to “protect” you but do not truly serve you. 

If this is the case for you, I urge you to work on healing your relationship with money.

Healing Your Relationship with Money for Healthy Money Dates

Healthy money dates necessarily includes investing time and attention on healing and mindset work too. Not just external tasks, you are also working on yourself internally; where you are letting go of emotional money wounds or limiting money beliefs. Thus, healthy money dates support your overall emotional, mental and financial well-being.

In summary, healthy money dates include both activities…

• external (debt, income, savings and investment),
• internal (healing emotional wounds, reframing money beliefs, and rewriting money stories). 

I recommend not procrastinating any longer on improving your relationship with money. There are opportunity costs due to the time value of money. Every day you are able to add a $1 more to savings is going to add to the value of your funds in the long run.  Against the backdrop of rising interest rates, getting into financial shape has never been more imperative! 

Letting go of any disruptive feelings or limiting money stories potentially leads to better clarity and a better way forward.  Indeed, healing your relationship with money gives you the leverage that you need to strengthen your financial position. Follow through on the healthy money dates in your calendar and one year from now, you will be thankful that you started today. 

Need more help in healing your relationship with money? Get my self-study Relationship with Money course here or if you need greater accountability, find out more about working together. Get on a discovery call with me to get your questions answered. 

With love, 
Evelyn Lim
Abundance Coach
Money Relationship Mentor

The post How You Can Schedule Healthy Money Dates into Your Calendar appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.

Could you be gaslighting yourself and not know it? 

Apparently, the concept of gaslighting came from an old movie. In the show, the wife gradually feels disoriented after her husband turns the gaslights down slightly lower each night. When she notices the shift in lights, he would negate her observations by saying that it is all in her head. He’d also do things, such as hiding items and insisting that she lost them. His tactics are aimed at causing her to lose sanity. 

While gaslighting appears to be an external psychological tactic, what’s troubling is that we can also be doing this to ourselves unconsciously. Self-gaslighting happens when we undermine ourselves so much such that we lose complete confidence. It can also happen if we are the subject of gaslighting by an external party and gradually over time, we start to internalise what was said to us. 

It’s important to spot the signs of gaslighting, so that you can stop questioning and doubting yourself. 

10 Signs of Self-Gaslighting 

1. Dismiss your own feelings. 
2. Ignore your own intuition.
3. Thinking that you are “too sensitive”. 
4. Making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour.
5. Believing that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
6. Doubt your own capabilities.
7. Frequently comparing yourself to others.
8. Feel guilty when you ask for help.
9. Keep blaming yourself.
10. Second-guessing your memory. 

Self-Love as The Antidote to Gaslighting 

Stop gaslighting yourself and shift into self-love instead. 

By loving yourself, you commit to healing yourself emotionally. You accept how you feel instead of invalidating your feelings. Neither do you ignore your intuition by thinking that you are “too sensitive”. You also hold the fundamental belief that there is nothing wrong with you and you are able to support yourself with loving and encouraging thoughts. 

Self-gaslighting is often rooted in the lack of self-esteem or beliefs formed from childhood experiences. If you are gaslighting yourself and caught in self-sabotage, do reach out for help. Apply for a discovery call here to find out more about self-love healing and working together. 

Love and abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim 
Emotional Mastery Coach
Self-Love Healing Specialist 

The post Stop Gaslighting Yourself: Learn to Spot the 10 Signs appeared first on Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim.