“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”  ~Mother Teresa

EDITORS NOTE: The following is a guest post written by Nelu Mbingu.

If you are lonely, then you need to know that you are definitely not alone.

Our world is more connected than ever before thanks to technology. We have more ways of interacting with people than we know how to use well.

Yet, more and more of us find ourselves having to endure the quiet pain of loneliness.

According to the Huffington Post, loneliness might be one of the biggest public health concerns of this age and it is actually linked to an increased chance of mortality.

Indeed, it is becoming increasingly important that we all learn how to deal with this painful feeling.

7 Ways to Put a Stop to Loneliness

1. Be determined to actively end your loneliness

It’s sometimes easy to feel powerless when it comes to loneliness, and we often end up passively waiting for someone else to make us feel less lonely. You may feel that your loneliness indicates that nobody is willing to connect with you and there is nothing you can do about.

But that is far from the truth. Ending loneliness and becoming connected to your world is something that you can and should pursue actively. You need to make a decision to consciously work towards becoming less lonely.

2. Identify reasons why you are lonely

We all feel lonely for different reasons. Some of us have no one to interact with on a consistent basis and that’s why we feel lonely. And some of us are constantly surrounded by people but we don’t feel connected to them so loneliness lingers in our hearts.

You may feel that the people in your life don’t share your thoughts and ideas, or that they don’t understand you. You may be lonely because you feel that nobody cares about your specific needs and desires.

Whatever the reason, you need to identify it so you know exactly how to handle your loneliness and what to focus your attention as you work to improve that part of your life.

3. Be interested in people

Start to cultivate an interest in the people around you and they may reciprocate that interest. When you talk to people, be fully present in the conversation, try to listen and understand the other person’s thoughts and ideas.

Forget your own fear that people are not interested in you and be fully present in the moment at each one of your interactions with other people.

Even if the level of interest is not reciprocated, you will walk away feeling more satisfied with the interaction, because you will have connected with another human being.

4. Take Initiative in your existing relationships

You don’t always have to wait for somebody else to invite you somewhere. You can be the one that initiates the dinner or the movie plans. Try to create situations in which you can spend quality time with the people already in your life so you enhance your closeness with them.

In other words, work with what you already have.

5. Be open about your thoughts, ideas, and desires

People who are chronically lonely tend to fall into destructive mental habits and one of them is being overly withdrawn. They try to avoid the pain of not being understood and being disconnected by not giving people an opportunity to understand and connect with them.

It’s an ironic situation where you desire connection but you’re also unconsciously preventing it from happening by not reaching out and communicating with others.

So the solution is to share your thoughts and feelings with others and to do so openly and fearlessly. Make people understand you instead of passively waiting for them to do so.

6. Be a pleasant presence

When you engage with others, try your best to be as positive as you can and to make people enjoy your company. Don’t be overly critical and judgmental, but try to be vibrant and open instead.

If people enjoy your company, they will seek it more often, so by being a pleasant presence, you set the foundation for long, enduring relationships.

7. Find people who share your interests

Whether it’s coin collecting or video games, everybody is interested in something. And just as there are many interests, there are many people who share those interests. Find what interests you and connect with others on that basis.

Luckily, with the internet available to us, the search will be much easier for you.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, relationships are everything. The people in your life matter more than wealth and success. Don’t hesitate to work on your relationships and your connection with others if you feel they need work. Loneliness is a painful feeling.

But like any pain, the earlier you take steps to correct the cause, the earlier you will be able to replace the gray fog of loneliness with the bright sunlight of happiness.

_____________________________________________________

Nelu Mbingu is a self-improvement blogger, the founder of Lessons From Everyday Life. She writes thought-provoking articles on a variety of topics relating to personal growth and social success. Visit her blog and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo credit

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Are you fighting with family members? If so, here are tools to resolve family conflicts and reach some form of compromise, understanding and peace. Read on.. It’s normal to have disagreements with family members. But sometimes conflicts can turn into […]

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Historically, the term ‘introvert’ has been considered as being largely negative. Introverts are often the victims of fundamental misunderstandings, however, as others confuse them as being shy, overly analytical and in some instances entirely bereft of empathy for others.

Not only are these perceptions false, but they also disguise the fact that being an introvert offers many potential advantages. This is particularly true in the workplace, where many introverted character traits lend themselves to being a more responsive and effective employee.

8 Advantages of Being an Introvert at Work

So what exactly are the major advantages of being an introvert at work, and how can you capitalise? Let’s explore this further:

1. Introverts are Great Listeners

One of the core strengths of an introvert is their innate ability to listen, and there are several reasons for this. To begin with, introverts are more comfortable listening than holding court within a conversation, while they are also more thoughtful about what they say and often use the responses of their conversational partners to influence their input.

This can highly beneficial in the workplace, as introverts have an opportunity to absorb knowledge and insight from those around them in a bid to progress their careers. This is in stark contrast with extroverts, who often use professional conversations as a stage to promote themselves without listening to what is expected of them.

To make the most of this opportunity, be particularly attentive to your colleagues and those in positions of seniority. Above all, make sure that you process any information that can help you perform better as an employee and identify opportunities for growth.

2. Introverts Can Be Relied Upon by Leaders

On a similar note, listening is a skill that helps to build trust and respect within the workplace. This is why even charismatic, extroverted leaders tend to recruit introverts in position of power, as they can be trusted to listen attentively to concise instructions and implement these with a minimum of fuss.

While I have seen numerous individuals with introverted personalities attain promotions at work, it is still important to use your initiative where possible within your role. This will help you to take further steps into leadership while and build your confidence as an employee.

3. Introverts Make for Thoughtful and Open-minded Leaders

One of the main perceptions surrounding introverts is that they do not make good leaders. This is largely untrue, however, as while those with an introverted persona may lack charisma they are thoughtful and open-minded when developing strategies, considering innovative ideas and recruiting staff members.

The latter point is particularly important, as extroverts can be insecure and competitive in their nature and this may cause friction with certain, successful members of staff. You must therefore take steps to show your open-mindedness and thoughtfulness in the workplace, while also avoiding any conflict or petty competition with colleagues.

4. Introverts are Empathetic Employees

As a general rule, introverts boast an extremely high level of self-awareness and are extremely sensitive to the needs of those around them. This is an unusual philosophy in the workplace, where so many are preoccupied with their own issues and the desire to progress their careers.

Introverts can capitalise on this, however, simply by being themselves and showing consideration for colleagues, teammates and employers. This will help you to stand out as an individual, especially if you are willing to be flexible in your role when pressure is created by long-term absences and sickness.

5. Introverts Tend to Have a Better Work-life Balance

If there is one lesson I have learned from work, it is that the daily interaction with colleagues and employers can be extremely draining for anyone with an introverted personality. This is something that introverts are conscious of at all times, meaning that they have an innate appreciation of the need for a positive work-life balance that can empower their personal lives.

With recent research suggesting that jobs paying an annual salary of £37,000 per annum tend to serve a tipping point in terms of the balance between sacrifice and reward in the workplace, having an appreciation of your limitations can help you to improve your life no end. Over time, this will make you a superior colleague without impacting negatively on your recreational time outside of work.

6. Introverts are Self-reflective and Excellent at Error Correction

We have already touched on the fact that introverts are excellent listeners, and this means that they are able to take on considerable feedback regarding their performance at work. Not only this, but those who are introverted also have a self-reflective mind-set that enables them to process this information and turn into action steps for their own, personal development.

Such a philosophy also allows introverts to excel when correcting their own errors, as they take their mistakes seriously once they have been highlighted and commit themselves to reverse these openly. When you consider that making mistakes is an inescapable element of being human, your natural outlook as an introvert offers you an advantage as a conscientious and thoughtful being with great integrity.

7. Introverts Enjoy More In-depth and Meaningful Proffesional Connections

We live in the digital age, where professional networks are driven by real-time chats and single line introductions. While this enables extroverts to build vast and often vacuous networks, however, it is well known that introverts crave the kind of in-depth and meaningful connection that drives genuine understanding.

This can actually be beneficial to introverts in the contemporary workplace, where intimate relationships based on knowledge and trust stand out while driving greater levels of collaboration. You can also your need for in-depth connections to build rapport with colleagues and clients alike, strengthening your position within the firm while also contributing to increased revenues.

8. Introverts Make Considered Rather Than Impulsive Decisions

Whether you are a leader or not, you will most likely have to make decisions in your professional life. While introverts are often criticised for over-analysing decisions to the point where they suffer a paralysis of thought, this is a gross exaggeration that disguises the benefits of forming well thought-out and informed decisions that have been considered from multiple angles.

In fact, the capacity of introverts to give due consideration to every aspect of a decision can benefit businesses greater, as it helps to avoid the type of impulsive mistake that can destroy even established ventures. From your own perspective as an introvert, you should therefore stay true to your inner thought processes when making a decision and resist the suggestions of those who want you to act quicker.

These are just some of the many benefits of being an introvert in the workplace, while these examples can help you to develop your career ahead of those with greater charisma and charm. If you would like to suggest any ideas that we have missed, feel free to leave your comments below!

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“Gratitude changes us. It takes no prisoners, offers no mercy, and gives no ground. Gratitude is a revolution and a civil war, an unrepentant killer of the most miserable parts of our nature.” ~M2bH

Just as there are silent killers attacking your body this very moment (toxins, free radicals, germs, viruses), there are moral and psychological killers attacking your happiness and quality of life as well. You have an immune system that prevents most of the internal enemies from wreaking much damage to your body most of the time.

There is a powerful emotional immune system, a kind of psychological antibiotic that can destroy the emotional viruses that sicken your soul and well-being, robbing you of confidence, peace and happiness too.

In fact, it is the single most effective killer of unhappiness. It will change the way you see the world, the way you interact with others and how you enjoy the depths of happiness that are available to those possessed of this killer of emotional toxins.

This life-enhancing, happiness-inducing miracle drug that does, in fact, ruthlessly kill its enemies—you’ve guessed it—is gratitude.

But What, Exactly, Does Gratitude Kill?

1. Gratitude Kills Regret

Regret is the loss we feel at having done something we should have avoided or at failing to do what we shouldn’t have avoided.

And it gnaws at us if we let it.

Gratitude, on the other hand, destroys regret by nullifying the loss at its core. With gratitude (the habitual way of thinking and being, not merely the expression), there is little room for regret because we appreciate the good that comes from the paths not travelled as well as the paths ill-advisably ventured.

Regret becomes meaningless because we are truly thankful for the growth that our mistakes pushed us into, for the lessons taught and the insights acquired, and wisdom deepened by our stumbles and face-plants. We recognize we are who we are today in part because of the missteps we’ve taken in the past.

2. Gratitude Kills Disappointment

Disappointment is the feeling we have when things don’t work out the way we wanted them to, when reality falls short of our expectations. Life just didn’t go our way. Our marriage crashed or our education was misspent or our career never took off as expected.

Gratitude kills disappointment because we are sincerely grateful for what we have. Grateful people don’t stare into the abyss of missed opportunities or unsatisfying lives. Grateful people love what they do have and so they cherish whatever life became and feel privileged just to be able to open their eyes one more day.

For the grateful, there is no room for disappointment; Each moment offers life. And the grateful are thankful for both the tiniest and largest things most people seem usually to take for granted. Things could be so much worse than they are right now.

Gratitude turns disappointment into lessons learned, discoveries made, alternatives explored, and new plans set in motion. Why feel bitter that things are not one way when you can be grateful they are at least as good as they are and that you now have the opportunity to change them, set new courses and trajectories?

But keep in mind what I’m not saying. I’m not suggesting grateful people ignore reality, or simply suck it up, or pretend things are better than they are. They literally and actually feel good about what they have even if ingrates seem only to notice what everyone else has.

3. Gratitude Kills Boredom

Boredom is the absence of motivation or inspiration or ambition or interest. It is the quality of the bored person, not the quality of the circumstance the person finds boring.

Gratitude ends boredom because if your general attitude is thankfulness, then you are thankful to be where you are, surrounded by the people surrounding you, or grateful to have alone time, if that’s the case, to think and remember and plan or meditate and pray.

You are grateful for each moment as a gift from God or Life, something to cherish, to make the best of, to use and enjoy to its fullest.

Those who are truly grateful are deeply moved by the privilege of living, of waking up another day to the beauty of life’s possibilities and opportunities. They therefore make productive use of it. They get outside, do things, learn things, reach out to people, join movements and generally make the most of the lives they have been so thankfully given.

Where one may find no interest in a lecture or documentary or a poorly planned party, the grateful are in the moment, enjoying what is enjoyable, taking an active interest in what it is, even if it’s not something better.

Because the attitude of the grateful is focused on what they have (not what they don’t have, or what the occasion isn’t), they cherish each moment. They recognize life as a precious gift. And so they tend to be proactive about their circumstances.

If something doesn’t interest them, instead of complaining about it, they change it by either improving what it is, finding something in it to appreciate, or leaving to find something that does interest them.

4. Gratitude Kills Loneliness

If gratitude truly drives you, if it fills you and is the lens through which you view life, then you appreciate the opportunities given to you to enter the lives of others. It is a precious memory, a granted solemnity, a tender interaction deeply appreciated.

There is little room for loneliness because it is crowded out and pushed off the cliff of appreciation. You less likely feel bad for those not paying attention to you, and more likely feel grateful that there are people you can pay attention to.

The focus in outward, not inward. The mindset is on what you can do, not what others have neglected to do for you.

5. Gratitude Kills Unhappiness

The single greatest cause of happiness is gratitude. That’s a big statement. But just try to feel sad and grateful at the same time. You can’t do it. Like light chasing darkness out of the room, gratitude ends the life of unhappiness whenever it’s invited in.

Unhappiness is not the natural byproduct of bad life experiences. It is the natural byproduct of bad thinking about bad life experiences (or bad thinking about good life experiences).

But gratitude changes those thought patterns. Gratitude becomes the new lens, the purer lens that changes the way you interpret the world, life, all experiences you are faced with or are called to go through. You see the seed of growth in the trial, the opportunity in the challenge, the polish in life’s painful scrubbings, the meaning in what others see only as purposeless and arbitrary.

Gratitude, then, is the filler of emotional potholes, the killer that obliterates the ugliness that plagues all of our thoughts to some degree, from time to time. It destroys negativity and unhappiness and the frustration of a life that is not what you envisioned it to be.

As a matter of fact, gratitude increases the likelihood that you get off your duff and do something about creating the life you want to live in the first place.

FINAL THOUGHT

Does gratitude kill? Absolutely! But from the fertilized soil of gratitude’s carnage, happiness is finally allowed to bloom in spectacular ways.

Don’t believe me? Try it! You’ll be grateful you did.

Photo credit

The official Top 150 Travel Blogs is here!

What an exciting list to pull together.

I’m proud to say that this is the most comprehensive and up-to-date list of travel blogs anywhere in the world today!

As North America and Europe head into Summer, and Australia and New Zealand head into Winter, it’s a fantastic time to explore opportunities for travel. What better way of doing this then to bring you the absolute best travel blogs currently online… in fact, we bring you the Top 150!

There is so much useful information here. The key to all this information is being able to quickly find the blogs that resonate with you and have information and advice on places that you desire to go to (or didn’t even know you desired to go to!).

The Best Travel Blogs for 2016

Many of these bloggers set out with the intention to simply keep a diary of their travels online and to share their experiences with those interested. Some of these bloggers are now full-time travelers and their blog is their primary source of income. Amazing right? After sifting through all of these travel blogs, I can say that I am greatly impressed with everyone’s work!

It is somewhat tricky putting together a list of the Top 150 travel blogs as it can be rather subjective in nature. To avoid this, I’ve removed any of my own opinions or judgments and let pure metrics do the talking.

What I have created is a list of travel blogs that rank from the most trafficked (largest number of visitors) down to the least trafficked. This list will provide you with a clear indication of how large a website is and its relative importance in the travel blogosphere. Keep in mind, even though the blogs towards the bottom are the ‘least trafficked’, they are still within the Top 150 out of hundreds and thousands of travel blogs out there on the internet (if not more!).

One thing to keep in mind, however, is that a larger site (a site ranked towards the top) does not necessarily indicate that the site is of better quality. Generally speaking, you will find that the larger sites have been around for longer and have more blog posts and content being crawled by Google. Because of this, they are sure to have larger audiences. In saying that, however, the top sites have lasted the test of time and continue to have strong readership so they must be doing something right!

One thing to add, there have been numerous other top travel blog lists over the last couple of years. Never before has a list been this comprehensive and never before has it been shared with a personal development audience.

[sociallocker id=”5242″]http://www.startofhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Best-Travel-Blogs-2016.pdf[/sociallocker]

How to Use This List

This is YOUR LIST.

If you are currently travelling or you are thinking about taking a holiday somewhere, then this is a resource that I encourage you to save and come back to on a regular basis.

Most places in this world have been explored before and it’s easy to follow the beaten path. However, many of the bloggers on this list have had incredible experiences in places I never knew existed. There are so many secrets to the world among this list of blogs… I encourage you to explore destinations and activities that you have never even thought of before (or never even thought possible that there were such places on Earth).

As you travel around or when you’re planning your next adventure, I encourage you to come back to this list and find the hidden gems of destinations, places and activities that these bloggers have exposed for you.

Each travel blog is unique and has its own style and purpose. You will also find that you will resonate strongly with some blog owners and their content and perhaps less so with others. For this reason, there is a wide variety of blogs on the list. The one thing in common is that they all are themed around travel.

My recommendation to you is to browse through each of the blogs below at least once and then pick out the two or three blogs that really resonate with you and are linked to the destinations you would like to visit or the experiences you would like to have.

Think about the below questions as you sift through each blog:

• Which bloggers have traveled to destinations I would like to travel to?
• Which bloggers have traveled to the place that I am currently in?
• Which bloggers have had the kinds of experiences that I would like to experience?

When you find something you like, be sure to subscribe to their content and stay informed.

How The Top 150 Travel Blogs are Ranked

The Top 150 Travel Blogs are ranked in order from the most-trafficked (largest number of visitors) to the least-trafficked (although the smallest in this case is still a Top 150 Blog!)

I have used the Alexa rank of the website as the primary ranking method. Alexa provides a relative ranking of each website based on the number of visitors it receives. A rank of 100,000 would mean that the site is the 100,000th most visited site on the internet. With the millions and millions of websites on the internet, such a ranking is classified as pretty good! Just so you know, Google’s rank is #1, Facebook is ranked #2 and YouTube is ranked #3. The Top 150 Travel Blogs are ranked by Alexa scores (as of January 2016).

People often question the validity of such tools, however, when comparing more generally the relative size of a website they are quite accurate and very useful indicators. Other tools might indicate that a lower-ranked blog in our Top 150 is infact larger than a higher-ranked blog, but generally speaking, the Top 10 websites will always be larger than those ranked 10-20, and those ranked 10-20 will always be larger than those ranked 20-30 etc. To sum it up, the larger and more trafficked sites will always tend to be ranked higher regardless of the tool being used.

Do you want to get really funky with the Top 150 blogs? I’m pleased to let you know that the Top 150 table is dynamic. This means that you can search for your favourite blog to see where it is ranked and sort by any column, such as page rank or alphabetical order. This is your list. Have fun with it!

Without further ado, let me introduce you to the Best Travel Blogs for 2016!

The Winners

CONGRATULATIONS to every blogger that has made this Top 150 list! I personally give you a high-five and want to say you’re having an impact on others by going off the beaten-track!

If your blog is one of the Top 150, you have the honour of displaying the following badge on your site. This is the most comprehensive list of travel blogs on the internet and I’m honoured to have you as part of this! Simply use the code provided below to add it to your site.

Use the below code to display this badge proudly on your website. You deserve it!:

(you may need to replace the inverted commas – “” on your own site for the image to work).

[sociallocker id=”5242″]http://www.startofhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Best-Travel-Blogs-2016.pdf[/sociallocker]

[sociallocker id=”5242″]http://www.startofhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Best-Travel-Blogs-2016.pdf[/sociallocker]

Now What?

Time to find the adventures and experiences you want in your life!

If you want to find out more about creating your most successful life, then check out our Top 100 Personal Development Blogs for 2016.

If you need some instant motivation and inspiration, then make sure you check out the Top 100 Motivational & Inspirational Quotes for 2016.

If you want to get some actionable tools that you can implement into your life right now, make sure you access our Free Toolkit.

If you’re keen to make the Top 150 for next year, you might be interested in registering for my course: First 1000 Subscribers (opening shortly).

Over to You!

Do you have a favourite blog on the list?

Which blogs do you find you get the most value from?

What other travel resources do you use to have a great holiday or adventure?

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Here’s to making 2016 your most adventurous yet!

Brendan

P.S. Do you know of someone that would love to see this list? Please share this list using one of the buttons below. You’ll most likely make their day!

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Do you suffer from public speaking anxiety or the fear of making live presentations?

Does the thought of doing public speaking or making live presentations (such as on FB, Instagram or Youtube) cause you to sweat in nervousness, feel faint or get nauseous?

Do the voices inside your head tell you that it is not safe, not to make a fool of yourself or not to embarrass yourself in public?

First of all, what’s the deal with Public Speaking or Speaking in Front of an Audience?

Public speaking anxiety has been listed as American’s #1 fear affliction, before death at #5, and loneliness, weighing in at #7. This potentially means that most of us are less afraid of dying alone than of making fools of ourselves in front of others. The findings are thought-provoking, aren’t they?

Well, not just public speaking, many of us have the fear of being judged should we decide to reveal our “failures” and “mistakes” in the stories that we share before others. The voices inside our heads will warn us that it’s highly dangerous to reveal about our painful past in front of others! The fear of rejection or non-acceptance can be so strong that we are inclined NOT to show up as ourselves or to draw attention to our struggles (even if they could be over years ago).

Here’s the thing. If we would like to create a difference, it’s inevitable that we have to do some form of sharing our authentic stories. A presentation can never be quite as impactful without the power of story-telling. Real life stories connect and build bridges with our audience.

Let’s recognise that there is NOTHING shameful about sharing that we have gone through struggles.

Everyone has at one point or another, been through a difficult period. Without the struggles, there wouldn’t be us today. By sharing your authentic story, you are better able to connect with your audience and inspire them to action. In fact, the more emotionally compelling, the better. Facts tell, but stories sell!

Dealing with public speaking anxiety or the fear of standing in front of others may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Less so, should you claim to be an introvert (just like me). You are not likely to want to sign up for something that will make you feel uncomfortable. If I’m guessing right, you’ve got the tendency to hide every time when is an invitation to be interviewed, present or speak.

Chances are you can remain like this for years.

But if you are aware enough, you may recognise that you’ve been playing small.

Should you wish to increase your reach, create an impact and make a bigger difference, making live presentations with authentic sharing of your story can be life-changing. You are challenged to go beyond your comfort zone. What’s more, we are now in the era of publishing videos to get our messages out there.

Just imagine brimming with confidence when you have released any public speaking anxiety or fear of making a live presentation!

My Story with Releasing Public Speaking Anxiety

When I was to share my authentic story in a presentation on stage for the first time, I felt extremely nervous. I have never done anything like this before. It’s one thing to host a workshop, appear “live” on social media but quite another to reveal about my painful struggles on stage and in front of a large group of strangers.

I was imagining scenarios like:
– what if I trip on stage,
– what if I forget my lines,
– what if I blank out,
– what if I could not connect with my audience etc.

My mind was on overdrive. I also started to brandish myself for signing up for a public speaking gig, when I could have just stayed in my comfort zone.

Who am I to think that I can give a talk?
I’m just too old for this kind of thing.
I will look horrible on stage.
I will sound horrible on stage.

The voices inside my head was clear in that public speaking and telling my story on stage would be such a “bad idea”. 

Fortunately, I had enough awareness to know what the negative voices inside my head were doing. At one point, I had two parts of me in an inner debate. Finally, I reasoned that I wasn’t looking for safety anymore. Instead, I really wanted to break through my barriers.

I had written the introduction of my script for my presentation as follows….

“I believe in the power of stories and the most powerful stories are the ones we tell ourselves……for they create our reality.”

As I read through my script, I realised that my presentation is not just about the past. It is about the present. Therein was another wonderful opportunity to change the story that I was telling on the inside. I proceeded to work on releasing false beliefs and to visualise myself speaking confidently on stage.

Finally the day of the event arrived.

None – absolutely none – of the negative scenarios that I was imagining about came true. No falling down on stage, no forgetting my lines or blanking out when the stage lights came on. Instead, I spoke from my heart. The words just flowed.

On stage, I shared about how I once struggled with feeling unlovable and lousy about myself. Then, I went on to share about how I eventually turned my scars into stars,  stress into breakthrough and my mess into a compelling message. Well, I was happy to receive positive feedback on my presentation. A total relief that it was well received…hurray!!

What made the entire experience awesome was also the chance to help fellow entrepreneurs who had signed up for the same public speaking gig. A number of them had jitters and struggled with piecing their stories together prior to the event. Together, we worked on kicking their fears and crafting their messages. It was awesome finally hearing them speak on stage with poise and confidence! A breakthrough for their branding and market positioning indeed!

How to Release Public Speaking Anxiety and Fears

Need tips for your public speaking event or a live presentation?

Here are some tips that had worked for myself and those that I had assisted….
1. Become aware of what the voices are saying.
2. Realise that some of the imagined future scenarios that are negative may never come true.
3. Release any negative emotions and false beliefs via EFT or meridian tapping or any other energy healing techniques.
4. Visualise the desired outcome. Repeatedly.
5. Apply actions or put in practice that will help lead to a positive outcome. Eg. practice in front of your friends, join a Toastmasters Club, recording your voice and replaying the audio.

Hopefully the above tips can help you too!

Even if you are an introvert, you can release any public speaking anxiety. Recently, to my surprise, I also found out that there are many master speakers with the ability to speak powerfully and make high ticket sales from stage and who profess to being introverts. Hence, don’t let your fears hold you back from being the best that you can be!

Kick Your Fears and Get Ready To Play a Bigger Game!

Do you have any one of the following
– a confidence crisis
– inner challenges that prevent you from showing up,
– deep-rooted traumas that cause you to stutter, go blank in the mind, – tremble at any thought of public speaking, and/or
– issues with sharing your authentic story without needing anyone else’s approval?

Maybe you are not hoping to be the best speaker in town. Maybe it’s just about getting to the next step of your growth. Maybe it’s about levelling up to improve your game.

What will breaking free from your fears do for you? I’m betting that you’d feel a sense of freedom, greater confidence and fulfilment from getting your message out there!

Well, if you need further assistance to
– release public speaking anxiety
– create a bigger impact or/and
– turn shame into authentic and powerful sharing of your story and
crafting your branding message,
apply for a complimentary call here.

I’d be glad to assist you with a map for your breakthrough.

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn Lim

P.S. Share your thoughts in the comments below.

The post How to Release Your Public Speaking Anxiety and the Fear of Making Live Presentations appeared first on Abundance Life Coach for Women | Evelyn Lim.

“The Lord’s mercy often rides to the door of our heart upon the black horse of affliction.” ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon

It’s the season of gratitude. But what if life plain sucks right now?

The science of happiness has revealed that one of the easiest and most effective ways to grow your happiness, even when things are not going your way, is to grow your thankfulness.

Truly grateful people are the happiest amongst us. But what are the truly grateful thankful for? Well, for everything.

Deeply happy people are even thankful for the trials and tragedies they pass through.

I know a woman who recently shared her struggles with cancer. It hurt. It was scary. It changed her life. And then she finally overcame. She still hurts, but she’s healing. In a nutshell, here’s what she said:

“I’m grateful for having gone through the trial I went through. If I could change anything about the past, I would change NONE of it. I appreciate the love of my family, of my friends and others at church because of it. I have a deeper faith and more respect for my Savior because of it. The blessings that came out of my pain will forever be greater than the pain was even as I passed through it.”

Still, pain hurts. And most of us find it difficult, to say the least, to find gratitude in our hearts for the worst things in life. So how do we move our thoughts and attitudes toward gratitude, especially for our trials and tribulations?

Below are some thoughts I’ve had of late about the reason we should feel grateful even for those things no one in their right mind would be grateful for.

11 Reasons to be Grateful You Were Beat Up by Life

1. Challenges act as a mirror to our weakest parts.

We often go through life with blinders on. Not always because we refuse to see what is obvious or that we’re too lazy or fearful to look very deeply, but because we don’t know to look where we don’t know something has been neglected.

It is often only in our trials that we become aware that our courage or patience or faith could use some polish.

2. Challenges build character

Let’s be clear. Challenges in and of themselves do nothing. But they create circumstances where growth can occur in ways it can’t while sailing in smoother waters.

In such moments, when we choose to rise to the occasion, we become stronger, more determined, better in so many small and large ways. We become more deeply committed to a life of purpose and meaning and personal decency as we come to feel a broader connection to the shared experience of humanity.

(For my thoughts on those character traits essential to happiness, click here)

3. Challenges develop patience

Challenges often require that we suffer or endure over an extended period of time. When we emerge on the other side of the trial, little things like empty toilet paper rolls and toothpaste squeezed from the middle of the tube are finally recognized as being trite, inconsequential things, unworthy of much angst.

4. Challenges inspire compassion

As long as we don’t buckle under the weight of the pain and its longevity, when the pain does subside a bit, we find ourselves more inclined to feel compassion for other people going through their own rough spots.

We know of the pain, the difficulty, the loneliness, the feeling of being abandoned. So we are more likely to reach out to those similarly struggling.

5. Challenges soften our rougher edges

We are all works in progress. We are some combination of strengths and weaknesses, virtues and less-than-virtuous inclinations. Greed, selfishness and pride are often coconspirators planning their return just beyond the surface of our consciousness.

Through our trials and tribulations, our stint in the wilderness of our lives, if you will, we come face to face with our darker traits, do battle with them, and round off the rougher edges of our character in the process.

6. Challenges fine-tune perspective

Through challenge and difficulty, we learn to see life differently than before. Some people are jaded. Others embittered.

But still others develop the ability to see through others’ eyes, to pick up more wisdom and insight into the human condition.

The advice we can get from someone who has travelled through rough waters is often invaluable. They’ve seen what we haven’t seen, felt what we haven’t been forced to feel, experienced what we have been spared from experiencing.

The insights gathered from those relatively unique experiences can add wisdom to our own travels.

7. Challenges lead to greater confidence

Knowing that I can endure a very difficult challenge offers a degree of confidence that the next challenge can also be endured. I’ve been tested and passed (flying colors don’t even matter much at that point. I overcame. So I can overcome again).

We often don’t realize how much strength we have until challenged to use it. Once tested, we know.

8. Challenges make us rise to the ocassion

We often live life on automatic pilot. Going through the motions. Knee-jerk reactions to the monotony of sameness. Then life crumbles. We get hit and slapped and pushed into a corner.

Daily routines are thrown off. Circles of comfort twisted into painfully shaped dimensions. We are called on to do things we never imagined doing.

Each moment can therefore become infused with so much more meaning–or perhaps better, we become so much more aware of the inherent meaning each moment is imbued with.

And so life becomes something more purposefully and purposely lived.

9. Challenges improve our relationship with God

Challenges often push us to our knees. We are spent. We feel like there is nothing left and we turn everything over to God.

In those moments, we commune at a deeper level. Something more visceral and sincere comes out of us in our quiet moments of struggle with a Heavenly Father who calms and comforts and lifts us to the level of the challenge that confronts us.

We exercise more faith and trust and hope as we walk a lonely path that is in reality less lonely than we realize, as God walks with us, directing us, inspiring us, softening the burden or making us equal to it.

10. Challenges make us humble

When we feel like we are on top of the world, independent and self-sufficient and life clobbers us, we often fall a long way down a very high tower of self-importance.

That humility we experience often opens us to a whole slew of life lessons we were never open to learn before.

We become less arrogant and more willing to see others as our teachers–whether parents, children, waiters, janitors, or the president of a multi-billion dollar company.

11. Challenges make us happier

I know what you’re thinking right about now. OK, Ken, you pushed this one a little too far. But stop and think about it for a moment.

If our mouths always tasted like strawberry ice cream, for instance, there would be absolutely zero appreciation for the flavor of strawberry ice cream.

Who would run out to buy a double scoop of saliva-flavored ice cream? Gross, right?

But don’t you currently have a saliva-flavored mouth? Is your mouth gross right now? Probably not (and if it is, go see a dentist!).

My point is that we take what is most familiar for granted. If life was always bright and sunny, few people would have much appreciation for its sunniness. That would be the norm we naturally take for granted.

Challenges provide contrast to our happier times, elevating those times, adding to our appreciation and deeply felt gratitude for them.

So yes, our trials make us happier for having traveled a darker road to the sunshine lighting the clearing up ahead, just beyond the bend in the road.

Final Thoughts

Gratitude is a powerful trait. It softens trials, changes perspective, elevates attitudes, focuses attention, redirects negativity, empowers us to see more clearly, and expands, widens, lifts, ennobles and deepens the sense of meaning and purpose we discover in life.

Not only do our trials become classrooms that teach us life’s most profound lessons, they add joy and meaning to daily living.

So be grateful for all that filters down into your experiences during your sojourn on planet earth. Drop to your knees from time to time and thank God for the opportunities you have been afforded to learn at the feet of life’s challenges.

Our trials are, after all, among our greatest teachers, mentors and benefactors.

(Do you want more gratitude in your life? Try this post)

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