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Women often approach me for help to deal with their stress.
Their stress can be anything from dealing with a money or work-related challenge, relationship problems, not feeling “good enough”, low self-love to anxiety issues. They would have been holding on to anger, worry, insecurity and frustration for a long time before asking for help. (Understandably, most of us face resistance with getting assistance.)
Some would share about experiencing the same repetitive themes of abandonment and rejection in their lives. Thus, when we get together in a session, we usually begin by patiently peeling off the layers to determine the root cause of their issues. Invariably, we would find out that these issues stem from their past – primarily in childhood. As a result, we are led to working on healing their inner child.
It is often an “aha” moment for clients to realise that childhood trauma does not necessarily arise from a major singular event (such as a car accident, divorce, etc) but it can also come from repeated childhood emotional neglect and disregard.
A number of clients would reveal that they have emotionally absent parents who are not responsive to their needs. They had hardly been hugged, cuddled, assured or encouraged as children. As they got older, they were also mostly left to their own devices, without much supervision or guidance. Some even had to shoulder the extra responsibility of taking care of their siblings or also, the emotional burdens of their parents.
Growing up, they had no one to share their emotional stress with. They would keep it all inside. If they were to express their insecurities, they would get shut down.
Their feelings were rarely validated by mothers who were insecure and emotionally neglectful themselves. Fathers play a part if they were not responsive or unsupportive too. Their wounds are invisible but would somehow would infect their adult life. It’s why our work becomes helping their inner child heal and to release suppressed emotions.
By the time clients seek help, they would have hit their 30s-50s. These are critical years where they could have started a family and thus becoming parents themselves. Stress levels could escalate from trying to manage work and family together.
Here is where EFT tapping comes in.
Applying EFT Tapping for Inner Child
EFT tapping involves using our fingertips to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body for emotional release. The process of tapping makes it different from other therapeutic methods for inner child healing. It is recommended because the body keeps the score.
Almost all the clients I have worked with see the image of a hurt, sad and lonely little girl. The intense emotions held by their inner child offer us an excellent opportunity to use EFT. We work on releasing the range of emotions and bodily sensations by visualising the tapping on the various meridian points for “little Sally”, “little Amy” or “little Wendy” etc until they subside or change.
EFT tapping is helpful for restoring safety and calm to a frightened and distraught child before any cognitive processing can be made more easily. While the inner child is an image conjured in the mind, tapping via visualising the process has been found to be effective.Once calm is restored, we work on helping her process her thoughts. Broadly, this covers reparenting and guiding her with setting boundaries, clarifying values and letting go of beliefs that no longer serve her.
Rewriting beliefs is a powerful process. As I’ve discovered, abelief change at deep levels from “I am not good enough” to “I am enough” or “I’m unlovable” to “I am lovable and loved” brings about positive transformation in rippling effects on client’s situation today.
From applying tapping, the inner child starts to feel lighter, calmer, more free and supported. Due to a belief change, she is also a lot more empowered. She may even start to play, where she had few opportunities previously as a young girl. I’ve got clients with inner child who wanted to go on a swing, run in the playground, or just have fun with neighbourhood friends.
Then, as a final step, we work on reimprinting a new energetic picture that now replaces the old image of a wounded inner child. This new picture is embodied and integrated through an energy healing process.
What We’ve Learnt from Applying EFT for Inner Child
In terms of takeaways, what is reassuring for clients to discover is that it is not their fault or that they are not weak or powerless.
They might not have had the happiest childhood but they can certainly take charge of their life with greater confidence going forward.
On my end, I fill my notebook with client stories and feedback and what has worked and what hasn’t. Clients often report to experiencing a change from the session itself. However, it is with repeated sessions that they see a change taking place externally. In fact, benefits are amplified even more for those who follow through with consistent tapping in-between sessions. I’ve got clients who made big money breakthroughs as a result of the work we did. Refer to clients’ feedback here.
Inner child work with EFT and energy healing has proven to be therapeutic, powerful and effective. Because of the changes I see in my clients, I’ve become more passionate about helping others in this and have also renewed my calling
Have deep-rooted anxiety, trust or confidence issues? Apply for a discovery call if you’d like to find out more about working safely together!
Much love and abundance always, Evelyn Lim Abundance Coach for Women Online Self-Love Healing Specialist Certified EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner
Steven Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first coined the terms of a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. Scarcity mindset refers to the paradigm of looking at life as finite, as if there is a limited number of pieces in a pie. On the other hand, an abundance mindset refers to the paradigm where there is enough and there is plenty for everyone.
Here’s how Stephen Covey describes the Scarcity Mindset…
Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.
The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. The also have a a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.
Stephen Covey describes Abundance Mindset as…
The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.
How I’m Making the Shift from a Scarcity into an Abundance Mindset for My Business
May I share how I’ve been applying the shift in the context of my business.
Over the years, I have been working on letting go of my scarcity mindset. I found out how limiting beliefs were driving the way I was showing up in my business. It wasn’t great that I had unconsciously picked up scarcity thinking from “marketing experts” and I needed to change this.
These days, I remind myself about coming from a space of love and abundance whether I am serving clients or doing marketing. It just doesn’t feel right to be coming from love when I work with clients but when it is time for marketing activities, I use fear-based methods. I’m now leaning into greater authenticity when promoting my offers and I am feeling happier and aligned
The following is how making the shift is looking like….
How You Can Make the Shift from Scarcity to an Abundance Mindset
Interested to work on making a shift?
Refer to the following table that summarises what Stephen Covey has to say about shifting from a scarcity to an abundance mindset….
From the table, make a tick on the ones that you feel represents where you are. Thereafter, decide which item you want to be working on for making a shift and how you would like to go about it. You may decide to apply it in the context of your business, in personal finance or just in general.
For example, instead of thinking small and avoiding risk, you may decide to stop playing safe and be open to putting yourself out there and to sharing your big vision. Or, instead of focusing on cost control for personal finance, you may choose to explore how you can employ leverage to grow your investments.
Additional 4 tips to make the shift from a scarcity to an abundance mindset…
1. Surround yourself with people with generous and abundance mindset.
The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, is quoted as saying, “Change is the only constant in life.” We may think we’re hunkered down and settled in, only for life to throw us an unexpected curveball. Change can happen to you, but often it’s beneficial to make it happen. Start over. Begin again. Seek new opportunities. Creating a …
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Tapping into the wisdom of our bodies is the art of paying attention to the information offered by our physical bodies and releasing stuck energies that are trapped. When we pay close attention to our physical sensations in the face of money matters, we are able to decipher the emotional messages that our body has stored. The great news is that these physical impulses from our body are giving us an opportunity to make a shift.
If we ignore these opportunities, we miss out on the chance to release the associated negative patterns tied to our dismal situation. On the other hand, if we stay present to the sensations, we are able to access the information that is needed for release.
Let’s recognise that money is an emotional topic. We get emotionally charged when it comes to money matters. For instance, many of us carry money shame about not being, doing or having better – essentially stories of “not enough”. We may also feel angry with ourselves for not meeting expectations or feel afraid of not having sufficient funds for retirement. As emotional reactions differ for everyone, it is important to discover what yours are like.
What I’ve discovered is this: there are NO positive benefits to holding on to our limiting money stories or negative beliefs about ourselves for ages. In fact, the faster and earlier we clear them, the more freedom and empowerment we create for ourselves. We can choose to live today, instead of waiting till tomorrow. Indeed, building a better relationship with money starts with building a better relationship with ourselves or more specifically, our bodies.
Tap into Your Body Wisdom
1. Make the intention of noticing what your body is telling you. Physical sensations such as…
butterflies in our stomach when we are just about to make a big payment
rise in heartbeat when we are about to enter into a money discussion with our partners
tension headache when filing for tax
dizziness when attempting to look through financial accounts
constriction in the heart whenever we recall about the costly financial mistake we have made in the past,
and so on.
2. As soon as you notice that you are experiencing any physical sensations, take a pause. Stop what you are doing, so that you can give yourself the space to find out some answers.
3. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and openness as you bring attention to what is going on internally. Simply observe without judgment or the need to control or fix anything.
4. Close your eyes if it helps you to concentrate better.
5. If you are particularly anxious, do some breathing exercises and calm yourself down sufficiently before proceeding.
6. Bring awareness to the physical disruptive sensations. Which part of the body is experiencing these? Are you experiencing tightness in the jaw, tension in the shoulders, heaviness in the heart, and so on? Make a note of what the sensations are like and the level of intensity.
7. Gently observe the emotions that are behind the physical symptoms. Are you feeling shame, anger and/or fear? Also notice any thoughts, self-talk, images or memories that is going on. What is the money story that you are telling? What are the limiting beliefs you are holding on to about money and abundance? There is no need to push them away, you are simply acknowledging them.
8. Next, open your eyes and jot down or make a note of your observations.
This is a great exercise to practice whenever you need to interact with money. Physical disruptions can happen anytime even while you are paying for groceries or on the highway. Obviously do this exercise when you are out of harm’s way and where it is safe for you to do so.
Integrating Body Wisdom
A shift usually happens when we learn to reconnect with our body, create grounding and gain wise insights about ourself.
Becoming aware is a crucial step for money healing to happen. It unravels layers and layers of emotional and mental debris. Perhaps, even lifetimes of these. You become aware of your money story patterns that have constantly kept you stuck. With the information you’ve gathered, you gain the opportunity to release negative emotional charge and to let go of limiting beliefs.
Thus, you override the old programming where the brain is wired to respond in the same ways. As I’ve discovered from working with clients, using a somatic-based approach like EFT for money healing, can be extremely helpful. With a restored energy system, you are now better able to undertake new behaviour that supports you in creating an empowered financial life going forward.
Money Healing That Starts from The Body and that Clears Across Time, Space and Dimension
Just imagine, if you hold on to a negative money story, refusing to let go and willing yourself through (never mind, the self-sabotage). Your beliefs and unconscious patterns get coded in your energy system. It’s a set of poverty codes. The codes pass down your generational time lines until someone is brave enough to work on healing and to undo them. Only then, can freedom be established. Only then, can wholeness be restored.
So why wait when it can be now?
You do it not just for yourself, but for all those down your family line. Healing can be made through a systematic process that starts from a somatic-based approach and that involves healing across time, space and dimension. In the meantime, your courage to heal creates a ripple effect that also benefits humanity. Essentially, you are answering the call of your soul to awaken and transform at all levels of consciousness.
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